Top 10 Places to Break Up at Walt Disney World

You think a trip to Disney World is going to save your relationship but you are dead wrong. If anything, this vacation of yours has intensified your hate for one another. With this in mind, we present to you the top 10 places to break up throughout Walt Disney World, courtesy of Typhoid Lagoon’s Senior Relationship Expert, Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III. 10 – Space Mountain As you are screaming and hollering throughout the rapid descents and twisting turns, proclaim to your (former) lover that it’s over. It will be dark so they won’t be able to find your face to… Continue reading this fake story…

Disney World Testing Driving Monorails with Doors Open

This week social media was set ablaze with reports of one of the doors on Walt Disney World’s iconic monorail system being stuck in the open position as it was traveling to Epcot. According to our sources, this was not a malfunction but rather a test. Indications are that Disney is planning on operating all monorails with the doors open in the future. “It’s no secret that operating costs are skyrocketing on this aging fleet,” says Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Lead Project Manager for Walt Disney World’s monorail system. “If we keep the doors open, we don’t have to spend… Continue reading this fake story…

Big Changes Coming to WDW and Chris Isn’t Happy!

If you have been following the Walt Disney World news feed recently, you know about the big changes coming to the resort, most notably at Disney’s Hollywood Studios. Plans are underway to transform areas of the park into separate themed lands dedicated to the Star Wars and Toy Story film franchises. While these changes have been welcomed by many, there are some who are irate over the changes. Enter: Chris Rotchety. Rotchety is a self-proclaimed avid fan of Walt Disney World and has visited the resort “countless” times since he was a boy. He currently operates a Walt Disney World… Continue reading this fake story…

Steven Tyler to be ELIMINATED From Ride

It was reported earlier this week on the internet that Disney would be digitally altering Steven Tyler to remove a potentially offensive hand gesture he posed during the Rock ’n’ Roller Coaster’s pre-show at Disney’s Hollywood Studios. However, it appears that Disney will be taking it one step further to completely eliminate Aerosmith’s front man altogether and replace him with the Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man. The Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man (or ‘Inflatable Tube Man’ for short) has grown in popularity over the years and many have been petitioning and speculating as to when this… Continue reading this fake story…