Man Awakens From Coma: “Take Me To CommuniCore!”

Man Awakes From Coma: Take Me To CommuniCore!

Man In For A World Of Hurt:

A man who slipped and hit his head in 1989 has finally awaken from his coma. His first words to his wife: “Take me to CommuniCore!”

Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III was visiting Epcot in 1989 when he made the fateful decision to purchase a frozen Mickey ice … Continue reading this fake story…

IllumiNations Replacing Fireworks With Sparklers

IllumiNations Replacing Fireworks With Sparklers

Sparklers Being Used In New Sensory-Friendly Show

Parents of sensory-sensitive children are rejoicing this morning as Disney has announced to replace IllumiNations with a tamed down version of the show. IllumiNations is a nighttime fireworks spectacular featuring music, fire, lasers, explosions, and fireworks. It’s really awesome but for a child with sensory issues, however, it can be a … Continue reading this fake story…

Epcot Adding FEMA Trailers Ahead of Festivals

FEMA Trailers Being Added to Epcot

Epcot Prepares for New Wave of Guests:

The Food and Wine Festival at Epcot kicks off on August 30th. Disney has begun moving in FEMA trailers in preparation for the large crowds expected during the park’s festival season.

Over the years, the Food and Wine Festival has grown exponentially in popularity. Epcot … Continue reading this fake story…

The Flat Spaceship Earth Society Gains Traction

Flat (Spaceship) Earth Society

Group Vows to Defy Logic and Common Sense

A very small yet vocal group of slow thinkers have recently been gaining mainstream traction. They call themselves the Flat Spaceship Earth Society. The FSES believes that the Spaceship Earth attraction at Epcot is actually flat. They say that there isn’t enough evidence to support the attraction as a geodesic … Continue reading this fake story…

Living With The Land Experiences COLOSSAL 15-Minute Wait!

In a sign that the busy summer season at Walt Disney World is in full swing, our network of spies have informed us that the Living with the Land attraction in Epcot experienced a rare 15-minute stand-by wait yesterday.

“We’re still running the numbers but first reports are indicating that these wait times are accurate,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo … Continue reading this fake story…