Epcot to Add North Korea to World Showcase

Our spies have uncovered permits detailing the addition of North Korea to Epcot’s World Showcase lineup. The last time World Showcase received a new country came way back in 1988 when Norway was added. Since then, several additions have been rumored and even announced but for one reason or another, all of those plans fell through. It appears as though that is all about to change. Hoping to capitalize on the public’s increased awareness of North Korea as of late, Disney hopes park guests will arrive in masses to visit this completely immersive experience. When we reached out to Disney… Continue reading this fake story…

Disney World Testing Driving Monorails with Doors Open

This week social media was set ablaze with reports of one of the doors on Walt Disney World’s iconic monorail system being stuck in the open position as it was traveling to Epcot. According to our sources, this was not a malfunction but rather a test. Indications are that Disney is planning on operating all monorails with the doors open in the future. “It’s no secret that operating costs are skyrocketing on this aging fleet,” says Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Lead Project Manager for Walt Disney World’s monorail system. “If we keep the doors open, we don’t have to spend… Continue reading this fake story…

Disney Interested in Purchasing Ashley Madison

The Walt Disney Company may be interested in purchasing a very popular (and legitimate, Lisa) website in the near future. AshleyMadison.com, an online dating site that is marketed toward people who are in married or committed relationships, has been actively shopping for buyers since their site was hacked in July 2015. They may have found a buyer in the Walt Disney Company. Yesterday, Twitter was trending about the proposed sale of Ashley Madison to Disney. While a few rejoiced the news, many were quick to criticize. “Ashley Madison + Disney? Really?!” tweeted @CrazedDiz. “Aren’t there more profitable adult sites to… Continue reading this fake story…

Epcot to Rename all Parking Lots to “Explore”

The Walt Disney Company announced on Friday that all seven surface lots would be renamed to “Explore.” The move comes after an increase in guests not remembering which lot they parked in and therefore failing to locate their vehicles. “Our research indicates that many guests are so amped up to get inside Epcot that they forget to make a note of which section their car is parked,” Geoffrey Blanketship, Lead Analyst of Disney World’s Traffic and Transportation Division tells us. “By the time they’re ready to go home, they don’t have the foggiest idea where they parked their car earlier… Continue reading this fake story…

Disney’s Magical Express to Install “Tight Ass” Rims

Disney’s Magical Express is a free shuttle service that takes guests staying at a Walt Disney World Resort hotel to and from the airport. Those busses are about to transport guests in style! According to a source who has never steered me wrong about these types of things, spinning rims will be added to the entire fleet of Disney’s Magical Express busses by January 2017. “We’re always looking for ways to ‘plus’ anything we do,” John Turner, Vice President of Disney’s Transportation division told me. “We have Planning Commission meetings about what we can do with our busses once or… Continue reading this fake story…