Ride Closure Makes Magic Kingdom A Half-Day Park

Ride Closures Make Magic Kingdom A Half-Day Park

Tron Construction Will Temporarily Close Two Rides:

With the construction set to begin on the Tron roller coaster, Disney announced some scheduled closures of nearby rides. One of the casualties will be the Walt Disney World Railroad as well as the Tomorrowland Speedway. Both rides will need to close to accommodate the new ride’s construction. The footprint of the roller coaster will cover parts of both the railroad and the speedway.

Not all park guests are happy about this news, however. Some have taken to the Internet to vent about Disney temporarily closing these two iconic attractions to make room for a new ride.

“What a joke,” said one spouse-less and friendless theme park blogger. “You can’t close both the Speedway and the Railroad! Looks like Disney greed just made the Magic Kingdom a half-day park!”

 

Half-Day At A Park. Half-Day To Complain Online:

The term “half-day park” is a relatively new term being used by jaded “fans” of Walt Disney World. Those fans started referring to Disney’s Hollywood Studios as a “half-day park” when the Backlot Tour and the Lights! Motors! Action! Extreme Stunt Show closed to make room for Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge and Toy Story Land.

“I hate that fucking term,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III. Geronimo is Vice President of New Attraction Construction for Walt Disney Parks. “We close one or two rides and all of the sudden people can’t spend more than four hours at our parks. It’s ridiculous.”

Geronimo’s face seemed to turn bright red with anger when we told him guests were saying the same about the Magic Kingdom.

“Listen, we are building a brand new ROLLER COASTER bitches!” Geronimo shouted. “Yes, some rides have to close TEMPORARILY. Suck it up, buttercup.”

In an unsolicited follow-up email, Geronimo wrote, “How about we just keep the rides open when we’re doing construction from now on? It’d be a real shame if one of those two-ton beams were to fall directly onto your stupid head!”

The closures should last no more than six months. The new Tron ride will open sometime in 2021.

 

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