Group Vows to Defy Logic and Common Sense

A very small yet vocal group of slow thinkers have recently been gaining mainstream traction. They call themselves the Flat Spaceship Earth Society. The FSES believes that the Spaceship Earth attraction at Epcot is actually flat. They say that there isn’t enough evidence to support the attraction as a geodesic sphere.

“I’m just not buying the official story,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III. Geronimo is the Vice President of the Flat Spaceship Earth Society. “There is no way the attraction’s ride layout would work unless it was on a flat plane.”

The FSES is a group comprised of the type of people who need warning labels. They are unified in their dangerously low IQs and their nonexistent comprehension skills.

Geronimo went on to challenge the official story that Spaceship Earth is actually a geodesic sphere.

“If the ride is round, how come everything inside of it is on a flat surface?” questioned Geronimo. “If it truly was round on the outside, every scene would have a slight arc to it.”

Geronimo scoffed at any attempts by our reporters to use logic and common sense to prove that Spaceship Earth is round.

“To date, no one has been able to successfully prove to me that Spaceship Earth is round,” continued Geronimo. “Any photos I’ve seen have clearly been Photoshopped. Any eyewitness testimony cannot be trusted because they’ve all been paid to say that.”

As brain-dead as Geronimo must seem, he is not alone in his thinking. Literally dozens of people have gotten on board with the Flat Spaceship Earth theory. Followers of the cult say that Spaceship Earth has never been observed as a complete geodesic sphere so it must be flat.

When reached for comment, the Walt Disney Company responded with only this:

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