Disney Interested in Purchasing Ashley Madison

The Walt Disney Company may be interested in purchasing a very popular (and legitimate, Lisa) website in the near future. AshleyMadison.com, an online dating site that is marketed toward people who are in married or committed relationships, has been actively shopping for buyers since their site was hacked in July 2015. They may have found a buyer in the Walt Disney Company.

Yesterday, Twitter was trending about the proposed sale of Ashley Madison to Disney. While a few rejoiced the news, many were quick to criticize.

“Ashley Madison + Disney? Really?!” tweeted @CrazedDiz. “Aren’t there more profitable adult sites to buy?”

“This is not what I meant when I said Disney should purchase an adult site,” tweeted @PervySteve.

“I wasn’t sure how I felt about this, but once I started reading other people’s reactions, I decided to mirror their sentiments,” tweeted @BandwagonJesus.

Disney has been looking to purchase an adult-themed website for some time. Adult sites ranked among the most profitable, raking in an estimated 13-trillion dollars in 2015 alone.

“The Walt Disney Company, like any business, is always looking to expand our portfolio,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Vice President of Disney’s Online Acquisitions division. “What better way to increase our profits than to put in a bid for an adult website?”

To some, a Disney-led acquisition of Ashley Madison may be a bit confusing. We spoke with Jennifer Gowen for clarification.

“If you think about it, it actually makes perfect sense,” Gowen, a professional Relationship Consultant who specializes in fictional characters said. “You may not have realized this but Mickey and Minnie [Mouse] have an open relationship. I need only point to Mickey’s Toontown Fair at Disney World’s Magic Kingdom where Mickey and Minnie have separate residences.¹”

Mickey and Minnie’s open relationship may be the reason behind Disney’s strong desire to acquire AshleyMadison.com. As Howard Buffett always suggests, invest in the products you use.

It wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibilities that Mickey and Minnie Mouse are card-carrying members of AshleyMadison.com. We reached out to Mr. and Mrs. Mouse but both ignored repeated requests for comment for this story.

What do you think? Which adult site should Disney buy?

¹ Mickey and Minnie Mouse did take up separate residences at the Magic Kingdom up until the Fantasyland expansion which opened in 2014. The current location of their homes was not immediately available as of press time.