Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III is a re-occurring character here at Typhoid Lagoon. The name comes from an old Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode called “Final Justice.” In the movie, Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III is a renegade Texas cop played by Joe Don Baker.
Below is a list to all of his occupations, according to our fake stories:
- President of Disney’s Research and Development
- Friend of Dreamfinder
- Chief Analyst of Disney’s Attraction Refurbishment Division
- Lead Developer for Walt Disney Imagineering’s Extinct Attraction Division
- Vice President of Character and Licensing Integration at Walt Disney World
- Amateur Monorail Enthusiast
- Lead Refurbishment Specialist for Disney’s Hollywood Studios
- Vice President of Walt Disney’s Theme Park Admission Division
- Head of Typhoid Lagoon’s Research and Development Team
- Former Disney Imagineer applicant
- Father of Eight
- Typhoid Lagoon’s Lead Lobulus Auriculae Expert
- Technical Lead on Disney’s MagicBand Eye Patch
- Vice President of Theme Park Costume Authenticity for Walt Disney World
- Lead Designer of Disney’s Magical Express
- Typhoid Lagoon’s Vice President of Transportation
- Vice President of Cast Member Resources
- Vice President of Disney’s Fictional Character Control
- Complaining Guest
- Trade Deadline Analyst
- Vice President of Restroom Operation at Walt Disney World
- Unemployed theme park blogger
- Park guest who participated in PhotoPass’ “Romance” Package
- Vice President of Walt Disney’s Electronic Manufacturing Through Foreign Assets Division
- Typhoid Lagoon’s Lead Video Forensic Analyst
- Chris Pratt’s Agent
- Family Psychologist
- Vice President of Disney’s Online Acquisitions
- Lead Consultant for the Family Vacation Stress Institute
- Assistant to the Webmaster of a Popular Walt Disney World Fan Site
- Vice President of the Na’vi Cosplay Enterprise
- Unemployed Sandwich Artist
- Vice President of Disney’s Hurricane Preparedness and Guest Safety Division
- Vice President of Post-Hurricane Media Relations
- Vice President of Disney’s Haphazard Food Division
- Vice President of the Hall of Presidents’ Presidential Advisory Board
- Piccolo player for The Revolution
- Mechanical Engineer for Time Rovers
- Amateur Parking Garage Enthusiast
- Lead Detective for the Tom Morrow 2.0 Replication Case
- Vice President of Pre-Dawn Guest Activities
- Vice President of Disney’s Bronze Busts Division
- Vice President of Disney’s Ridiculous Complaints Department
- Renegade Sheriff from a small town in Texas and Extreme Southern Hillbilly
- Vice President of Disney’s Guest Financial Data Division
- Vice President of RCID’s Transportation Signage Division
- Vice President of Epcot’s Spaceship Earth Narrator Search
- Vice President of the Non-Profit Buffet Analysis Group
- Vice President of Disney’s Daylight Savings Time Initiative
- Vice President of Disney’s Presidential Visits from Potential Presidents Division
- Structural Engineer for the Hall of Presidents
- Food Critic for the “Whatchya Eatin’, Bae?” website
- Disney’s Chief Health Inspector
- Disney’s Dining Crisis Counselor
- Vice President of Guest Spending Data Analytics
- Vice President of Typhoid Lagoon’s Animated Video Forensics Team
- Vice President of Disney’s Magic Penetration Initiative
- Founder of the Guest Satisfaction Council
- Vice President of Disney’s Drone Transportation Division
- Vice President of the Orlando-area Rickshaw Implementation Society
- Vice President of Disney’s Film Adaptation Division
- Security Officer at Magic Kingdom
- Lead Project Manager for Walt Disney World’s monorail system
- Talent Agent, representing the former presidents at the Hall of Presidents
- Vice President of Typhoid Lagoon’s Vacation Expert Panel
- Vice President of Disney’s Pedestrian Bridge Operations
- Paranormal Activity Recruitment Officer
- Vice President of Walt Disney World’s Conservation Preservation Society
- Acting Vice President of the Malfunctioning Parade Float Division at Walt Disney World
- Kim Jong Un’s Successor
- Typhoid Lagoon’s Senior Relationship Expert
- Vice President of Walt Disney Pictures’ Reboot Division
- Vice President of Disney World’s Ride Capacity Data and Analysis Division
- Vice President and Charter Member of the Wookiee Fan Club
- Terminally Ill Park Guest
- Witness to Vaporization of Great Movie Ride Hijacker
- Vice President of Disney’s Cast Member Alliance Guild
- Vice President of the Disney Sweepstakes Division
- Oil Tycoon
- Vice President of Acquisitions of Global Media Companies for the Walt Disney Company
- Cast Member at Mad Tea Party
- Vice President of Extermination at Walt Disney World
- Chief Traffic Engineer at WFTV 9
- Vice President of Guest Traffic Flow for Walt Disney Parks
- Vice President of the Cinemagic Podcast
- Lead Psychologist for Disney’s Thrill Ride Division
- Vice President of WDW Dining
- Vice President of the Flat Spaceship Earth Society
- Vice President of Epcot’s Crowd Control Division
- Vice President of the Liberty Belle Riverboat attraction
- Vice President for Disney’s Plastic Consumption Division at Walt Disney World
- Vice President of Walt Disney World Guest Room Technologies
- Vice President of Disney’s Film Censorship Council
- Vice President of Information Technology at Grand Floridian Resort and Spa
- Vice President of New Attraction Construction for Walt Disney Parks
- Vice President of the Attraction Refurbishment Division for Hollywood Studios
- Vice President of Policy Changes Based On Guest Input for Walt Disney Parks
- Vice President of Fine Dining Ambiance for Walt Disney World Restaurants
- Vice President of Attraction Synergy for Walt Disney Parks
- Man In Coma Since 1989