Richard Gerth Respawns Near Discovery Island

Longtime fans of Walt Disney World were saddened to learn of the sudden, unexpected, shocking, and unbelievable passing of Richard Gerth late last week. Gerth, aged 92 Earth-cycles, was a greeter at Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort & Spa and had developed quite a following after working the same position for almost 30 years. However those same fans’ sorrow and anguish quickly turned into jubilation late Sunday night after it was unveiled that his character had respawned near Discovery Island. Richard Gerth is back and he’s better than ever. When he respawned, he gained 1000 XP, re-gained all of his original… Continue reading this fake story…

Coming Soon: All Parade Floats To Be Set Ablaze

Late last week theme park guests visiting Magic Kingdom Park looked on in horror as the parade float depicting the beloved Maleficent dragon from Sleeping Beauty caught fire during the Festival of Fantasy parade. Luckily, no one was injured and the blaze was quickly extinguished. Or was it? Out of the ashes of the damaged parade float came a wonderful idea: set all parade floats on fire. “Guest Services was flooded with comments following the Maleficent dragon going up in flames,” said Sandy Richards, Vice President of Guest Relations. “They wanted to know when they could see more parade floats… Continue reading this fake story…

Local Gator’s Union to Go On Strike

The local chapter of the National Alliance of Crocodiles and Alligators Union (NACAU) out of Lake Buena Vista, Florida has announced plans to sue the Walt Disney Company for discrimination and deliberate segregation practices if their demands are not met. This move comes almost two years after Disney started putting rocks and fencing along shorelines, effectively forcing alligators who reside on Walt Disney World property to stay confined to a pre-designated area. “I feel violated,” Allie Getter, President of NACAU told us. “Disney put all this water around their resort, inviting us to come live there, but then they’re like,… Continue reading this fake story…

BREAKING: New ‘Truly Haunted’ Hotel Coming to WDW

The Walt Disney Company announced that a new hotel will be built just behind Magic Kingdom’s Haunted Mansion ride. It will be themed directly to the iconic attraction and feature exclusive after-hours access. “The hotel will be a first-of-its-kind resort that will be truly haunted from day one,” said Gloria Hopps, Project Lead on the yet-to-be-named resort. “Most hotels gain their ‘haunted’ status after years of in-room murders and suicides or unexplained fatal accidents with guests and employees. But this will be the first resort in the world where paranormal activity will be encouraged by spirits that are otherwise aimlessly… Continue reading this fake story…

Family Late to Dinner in World Showcase Because of Bridge

A family vacationing in Walt Disney World this week was late to their dining reservations at Germany’s Biergarten restaurant in Epcot’s World Showcase. The bridge that separates China and Germany was closed to pedestrian traffic to allow for IllumiNations fireworks floats to get into position for a performance later that evening. “Our timing issues had been compounding all day and the bridge being closed was what was finally sealed the deal [on us being late],” said Jason Griggs, husband and father of two girls. “I knew we were in trouble when we arrived at Epcot and couldn’t find an open… Continue reading this fake story…