Ride Closure Makes Magic Kingdom A Half-Day Park

Tron Construction Will Temporarily Close Two Rides: With the construction set to begin on the Tron roller coaster, Disney announced some scheduled closures of nearby rides. One of the casualties will be the Walt Disney World Railroad as well as the Tomorrowland Speedway. Both rides will need to close to accommodate the new ride’s construction. The footprint of the roller coaster will cover parts of both the railroad and the speedway. Not all park guests are happy about this news, however. Some have taken to the Internet to vent about Disney temporarily closing these two iconic attractions to make room… Continue reading this fake story…

Hollywood Studios Adding ‘Vloggers Lane’

New Lane Meant to Ease Traffic From “Famous” Social Media Stars – In response to the extensive coverage of Toy Story Land on social media, Disney will start testing a “Vloggers Lane” around its parks. Video bloggers, or “vloggers” have been known to hold up lines and disrupt traffic flow as they broadcast video online to their dozens of followers. This new lane will ease traffic so people can selfishly stream a new video without disturbing the guests behind them. “In days past, we saw inconsiderate people in wheelchairs slow up the flow of traffic,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III.… Continue reading this fake story…

WFTV 9 To Add Toy Story Land Crowds To The Traffic Report

News Channel Will Alert Viewers to Crowd Levels – Toy Story Land opened on Saturday to great reception among guests visiting Disney’s Hollywood Studios. Crowds were so heavy that reports surfaced of lines reaching as far as the Transportation and Ticket Center. The disruption to traffic caused ABC-affiliate WFTV 9 to start alerting viewers to the crowds around Disney’s Hollywood Studios during their morning broadcast. “It was an easy decision to make,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Chief Traffic Engineer at WFTV 9. “When there are this many people in one place, it is our duty to alert our viewers… Continue reading this fake story…

Disney Sprays for Pedophiles Ahead of Opening of Toy Story Land

Exterminators Spraying For Creeps Rodents and other pests won’t be the only vile creatures not welcome when Toy Story Land opens on June 30th. Disney’s Hollywood Studios will also use their exterminators to spray for pedophiles. When a new ride or attraction debuts, it is customary for exterminators to spray for insects prior to its opening. Disney chose to take it a step further for the new kid-oriented land at Disney’s Hollywood Studios. They hope to keep the area clear of creepy people who would otherwise prey on children. “It’s one of those things that you don’t really notice until… Continue reading this fake story…

NEW Osbourne Light Display Coming to Hollywood Studios

Disney announced yesterday that a new holiday lighting spectacular will soon be temporarily replacing the popular Star Wars: A Galactic Spectacular Fireworks display just in time for the holiday season. The Osbourne Family Light Spectacular (not to be confused with the Osborne Family Lights which used to enchant guests prior to the Streets of America refurbishment) will delight guests with Christmas lights and music, lasers, rock and/or roll music, fireworks and snowfall. The new fireworks show will be designed by former Black Sabbath frontman and music legend Ozzy Osbourne, and will feature a nightly audio recording of Ozzy narrating a… Continue reading this fake story…