BREAKING: Magic Kingdom Security Screening Moving to Discovery Island

Guests traveling to the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World will soon be re-routed to the former site of Discovery Island to be screened by security prior to entering the park. The move is meant to alleviate crowd congestion in the small area in front of Magic Kingdom. “We were looking for ways to thin out the crowd and then someone [at the meeting] mentioned Discovery Island and we were like, ‘well, duh!’,” said Harris Bonneville, Vice President of Security for Magic Kingdom Park. “It was the perfect answer to our problem.” Guests traveling to the Magic Kingdom in recent… Continue reading this fake story…

Parks to Start Selling Firearms to Guests

This week, avid theme park fans were shocked when two separate guests at two separate parks were arrested following the discovery of loaded firearms in the possession of a guest at the Walt Disney World Resort. Disney has responded to these incidents by saying they will start selling firearms inside the parks starting next year, so that guests don’t have to go through the trouble of bringing their own weapon from home. “The incidents covered in the media this week have brought this issue into the spotlight,” said Janet Forge, Vice President of Disney’s Guest Firearm Sales and Safety Division.… Continue reading this fake story…