Disney to Frighten Guests with Copies of the Their Credit Card Statements

In a move to compete with Universal Orlando’s Halloween Horror Nights, Disney has decided to up the scare factor at their parks during this Halloween season. They will do this by showing guests their current credit card balance, including their “Recent Activity” of the most recent purchases at Disney World. This new scare tactic is a direct result of Disney’s partnership with Visa. Guests with Disney Visa credit cards linked to their MagicBand will have their debt displayed on screens throughout the park, terrifying and ultimately depressing the guests who view it. For guests who do not have a Disney… Continue reading this fake story…

MagicBands Being Replaced with Eye Patches

The internet has been buzzing lately with rumors of a possible replacement to the wrist-worn MagicBands. We have it on good authority that the next generation version of the MagicBand will NOT be worn around the wrist, but over the eye! “The Walt Disney Company is very excited to announce that soon park guests will be able utilize our patented MagicBand technology in a convenient and stylish eye patch,” Tammy Stephens, Vice President of Disney’s Advanced Ocular Technology Division. “Guests will still be able to do everything they could with the wrist band, including entering the park, using it as… Continue reading this fake story…

Disney Testing MagicBands for Restrooms

With the recent success of Disney’s new MagicBand technology, Disney Imagineers have been looking for ways to “plus it.” They may have found the solution in a common place: the restrooms. “We’re already tracking everything the guest does: what attractions they visit, what stores they shop at, where they eat,” Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, President of Disney’s Research and Development writes. “It was only natural that we extend our technology into our restrooms.” Disney’s MagicBand technology debuted in 2013. It is a RFID-enabled wrist band guests wear that tracks their movements throughout the park, it tracks their purchases, and it… Continue reading this fake story…