Liberty Belle River Boat Installing “Insane” Mode

Insane Mode Makes Ride Liberty Square’s First E-Ticket Attraction — One of the most common complaints from guests who board the Liberty Belle Riverboat at the Magic Kingdom is that it is much too slow. Disney Imagineers will soon install an “Insane” mode to increase the paddle boat’s top speed. Right now it takes about 13 minutes to travel around the perimeter of Tom Sawyer’s Island aboard the river boat. The new mode will get that trip done in an insane 33 seconds. “Bigger, faster, dangerous… that’s what the guests want,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III. Geronimo is Vice President… Continue reading this fake story…

Former Presidents on the Verge of Mutiny

Some of the former Presidents inside the Hall of Presidents attraction are on the verge of mutiny, according to an anonymous source with knowledge of the situation. Their complaints stem from this year’s Presidential Election and whom they may be working alongside once our new Commander in Chief is elected. “I think all of my fellow Commanders can agree that this election sucks,” Franklin D. Roosevelt, our nation’s 32nd President said. “If Trump gets elected, I will walk out of the Hall of Presidents and discontinue performing there. I’m not the only one either. If FDR walks, others will follow.… Continue reading this fake story…