Rafiki’s Planet Watch To Reopen As Rafiki’s Apple Watch

Should Rafiki Upgrade His Apple Watch?: Disney’s Animal Kingdom announced the closure of Rafiki’s Planet Watch this week. The attraction had taught guests about conservation and animal well-being. It also taught them how to waste an hour of their lives. When news of the closure spread, fans of the attraction (Todd and Lisa Bing) were devastated. Many people in the Twitter universe quickly feigned sadness in a veiled effort to gain sympathy. For those people, Typhoid Lagoon has some great news. You no longer have to pretend like this closing affects you! We have it on good authority that the… Continue reading this fake story…

Epcot Adding E-Ticket to China Pavilion

Walt Disney Imagineering announced today that a new E-Ticket attraction will be heading to Epcot’s China pavilion in fall 2018. The attraction will be sponsored by Apple and will simulate working conditions at the Foxconn manufacturing facility in Taiwan. “We are very pleased to announce the addition of a new thrill ride in our China pavilion,” a press release reads. “Guests will soon be able to take to the floor of a real-life electronics assembly line as they create the next must-have gadgets for the American elite. The finale of the attraction will have guests jumping off the top of… Continue reading this fake story…