ABC Commissary Ranked #1 Restaurant Alphabetically

ABC Commissary Ranked #1 Alphabetically

Quick Service Restaurant Gets Honors At Top of Alphabet

The prestigious honors were bestowed upon the ABC Commissary for appearing at the top of several lists which rank restaurants based on the alphabet. As Hollywood Studios’ premiere quick service dining location, the new recognition for ABC Commissary can only do good things for a park that had seen … Continue reading this fake story…

Disney Sprays for Pedophiles Ahead of Opening of Toy Story Land

DHS Spraying for Pedophiles

Exterminators Spraying For Creeps

Rodents and other pests won’t be the only vile creatures not welcome when Toy Story Land opens on June 30th. Disney’s Hollywood Studios will also use their exterminators to spray for pedophiles.

When a new ride or attraction debuts, it is customary for exterminators to spray for insects prior to its … Continue reading this fake story…

Top 10 Places to Break Up at Walt Disney World

You think a trip to Disney World is going to save your relationship but you are dead wrong. If anything, this vacation of yours has intensified your hate for one another. With this in mind, we present to you the top 10 places to break up throughout Walt Disney World, courtesy of Typhoid Lagoon’s Senior Relationship Expert, Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III.

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Rickshaw Service to Connect Epcot to Hollywood Studios

Typhoid Lagoon spies have recently uncovered permits filed by Reedy Creek Improvement District to start a new transportation service between the parks. The files indicate that rickshaws are being strongly considered to shuttle guests from park to park.

Rickshaws (alternatively known as “ricksha” and “rikisha” in other parts of the world) are human-powered carts that have a maximum capacity of two people – … Continue reading this fake story…

Free Ice Cream to Guests Who Complain A Lot

article-guest-relations

Starting this weekend, any guest who lodges a complaint with Guest Relations will receive a free ice cream cone. Previously, guests who complained walked away with nothing more than free FastPasses or in some cases, free admission to a Disney Park.

“We listened to our guests who complained frequently and they informed us that they were tired of the free FastPasses and park tickets,” … Continue reading this fake story…