The Michael Eisner Story Will Replace One Man’s Dream

Michael Eisner Story Replacing One Man's Dream

Iconic Attraction Will Feature Michael Eisner’s Origins

Officials for Disney’s Hollywood Studios announced today that the beloved One Man’s Dream attraction will soon get a thrilling upgrade. The walk-through attraction will feature memorabilia and a short 90-minute film about Michael Eisner’s life. Eisner was the CEO of The Walt Disney Company from 1984 – 2005. He … Continue reading this fake story…

Ride Closure Makes Magic Kingdom A Half-Day Park

Ride Closures Make Magic Kingdom A Half-Day Park

Tron Construction Will Temporarily Close Two Rides:

With the construction set to begin on the Tron roller coaster, Disney announced some scheduled closures of nearby rides. One of the casualties will be the Walt Disney World Railroad as well as the Tomorrowland Speedway. Both rides will need to close to accommodate the new ride’s … Continue reading this fake story…

ABC Commissary Ranked #1 Restaurant Alphabetically

ABC Commissary Ranked #1 Alphabetically

Quick Service Restaurant Gets Honors At Top of Alphabet

The prestigious honors were bestowed upon the ABC Commissary for appearing at the top of several lists which rank restaurants based on the alphabet. As Hollywood Studios’ premiere quick service dining location, the new recognition for ABC Commissary can only do good things for a park that had seen … Continue reading this fake story…

Disney Sprays for Pedophiles Ahead of Opening of Toy Story Land

DHS Spraying for Pedophiles

Exterminators Spraying For Creeps

Rodents and other pests won’t be the only vile creatures not welcome when Toy Story Land opens on June 30th. Disney’s Hollywood Studios will also use their exterminators to spray for pedophiles.

When a new ride or attraction debuts, it is customary for exterminators to spray for insects prior to its … Continue reading this fake story…

Top 10 Places to Break Up at Walt Disney World

You think a trip to Disney World is going to save your relationship but you are dead wrong. If anything, this vacation of yours has intensified your hate for one another. With this in mind, we present to you the top 10 places to break up throughout Walt Disney World, courtesy of Typhoid Lagoon’s Senior Relationship Expert, Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III.

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