Grand Floridian Reverting to Dial-Up Internet

“High Speed Internet Does Not Match Theme” Officials at the Grand Floridian Resort and Spa announced today that they will soon be phasing out high speed internet in their guest rooms. They will instead revert back to dial-up speeds to keep with the turn-of-the-century theme of the resort. “Yeah, we looked into it and I guess they didn’t have Wi-Fi in the 1900’s,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, referring to people who lived in the 1900’s. Geronimo is Vice President of Information Technology at Grand Floridian Resort and Spa. “After much discussion and research, we concluded that the internet speeds… Continue reading this fake story…

Richard Gerth Respawns Near Discovery Island

Longtime fans of Walt Disney World were saddened to learn of the sudden, unexpected, shocking, and unbelievable passing of Richard Gerth late last week. Gerth, aged 92 Earth-cycles, was a greeter at Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort & Spa and had developed quite a following after working the same position for almost 30 years. However those same fans’ sorrow and anguish quickly turned into jubilation late Sunday night after it was unveiled that his character had respawned near Discovery Island. Richard Gerth is back and he’s better than ever. When he respawned, he gained 1000 XP, re-gained all of his original… Continue reading this fake story…

Victoria & Albert’s To Add Boxed Lunches

Due to overwhelming response, The Walt Disney Company announced today that fine dining destination Victoria & Albert’s at Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort & Spa will soon be adding a “Boxed Lunch” option to their world class menu. The boxed lunches were first sold as a means for survival to those guests riding out Hurricane Matthew from their Walt Disney World Resort hotel room. The original boxed lunches were sold for $12.99 to guests who had no other means to feed themselves while most of Walt Disney World Resort restaurants were closed due to the approaching hurricane. They consisted of a… Continue reading this fake story…