Mother Who Hates Roller Coasters LOVES Seven Dwarfs Mine Train

Mother of Four “Not Scared of That Ride” – It was a warm Saturday evening at the Magic Kingdom when we ran into Dana Hinckley sitting on a bench in Tomorrowland. Hinckley is a mother of four kids. The rest of her family was in line for Space Mountain with their father. She patiently played the role of “bag and cell phone watcher” while she waited for her family to return. “It’s too scary,” Hinckley said when we asked why she wasn’t on the ride with her family. “It’s dark and fast. I just don’t like roller coasters.” Surely there… Continue reading this fake story…

Man Doesn’t Think They’ll Get On This Round of Tea Cups

Father of One Seen Counting Guests Ahead of Him A park guest was recently spotted counting the guests in front of him in the queue for the Mad Tea Party ride at Disney’s Magic Kingdom. He appeared to be trying to figure out whether there would be enough tea cups for him and his daughter. “It doesn’t look like we’ll make it this time, honey,” Ben Flint said to his daughter. “We’ll get on next time though.” Ben Flint is a guest who was enjoying the Magic Kingdom on that warm summer day we met up with him. When we… Continue reading this fake story…

Survey Finds Guests Love Parking Garages

The results of a recent survey have confirmed what many of us have already speculated: guests love parking garages. Disney confirmed the survey results yesterday after an eight-month-long study asking guests to identify which part of visiting the Walt Disney World Resort was their favorite. The survey found that guests overwhelmingly chose “parking garages” over any other option. “The survey results don’t lie,” said Mary Bloomberg, Vice President of Disney’s Guest Survey Division. “53% of our guests said that the parking garages were the best part about their vacation. It doesn’t take a genius to conclude that this is where… Continue reading this fake story…

Disney Interested in Purchasing Ashley Madison

The Walt Disney Company may be interested in purchasing a very popular (and legitimate, Lisa) website in the near future. AshleyMadison.com, an online dating site that is marketed toward people who are in married or committed relationships, has been actively shopping for buyers since their site was hacked in July 2015. They may have found a buyer in the Walt Disney Company. Yesterday, Twitter was trending about the proposed sale of Ashley Madison to Disney. While a few rejoiced the news, many were quick to criticize. “Ashley Madison + Disney? Really?!” tweeted @CrazedDiz. “Aren’t there more profitable adult sites to… Continue reading this fake story…

New SWAT Team Attraction in the Works

Rumors about an exciting new attraction at Disney World have been circulating online in the previous days. The new ride is set to simulate the experience of being on a real life SWAT Team. Our sources tell us that this attraction will debut in Fantasyland at Disney World’s Magic Kingdom. “We are very excited about this project,” said one of our main sources who has direct knowledge of the project. He (OR SHE!!!1) spoke to us on the condition of anonymity. “The general public has always wondered what it will be like to be on their local SWAT team and… Continue reading this fake story…