Bootleg Plastic Straws Becoming A Problem

Discount Plastic Straws Being Sold Off-Property: This week Disney announced they will eliminate the use of single-use plastic straws from their parks by mid-2019. Many applauded the move saying that it shows that Disney is doing its best to lead the way in conservation efforts. Critics of the move say it’s insensitive to those needing special assistance who may require the use of a straw. Still others claim that Disney could be doing much more to reduce waste. One unforeseen problem, however, is the amount of bootleg and counterfeit plastic straw stores opening up just outside the Walt Disney World… Continue reading this fake story…

Survey Finds Guests Love Parking Garages

The results of a recent survey have confirmed what many of us have already speculated: guests love parking garages. Disney confirmed the survey results yesterday after an eight-month-long study asking guests to identify which part of visiting the Walt Disney World Resort was their favorite. The survey found that guests overwhelmingly chose “parking garages” over any other option. “The survey results don’t lie,” said Mary Bloomberg, Vice President of Disney’s Guest Survey Division. “53% of our guests said that the parking garages were the best part about their vacation. It doesn’t take a genius to conclude that this is where… Continue reading this fake story…

Breaking News: First Look at Hurricane Matthew Damage

As the theme parks at Walt Disney World Resort re-open today, Typhoid Lagoon reporters were granted full media access around the property to see what kind of damage Hurricane Matthew inflicted. We first made our way to Animal Kingdom. Animal Kingdom: The park overall seemed to be in great condition. We were expecting the bloody carcasses of animals lying about on the pedestrian walkways. Either no animals perished or Disney did a fantastic job cleaning up all of the blood and entrails. We made our way over to Dinoland, USA where the damage to the park is quite apparent. It… Continue reading this fake story…