Disney Raises Bid for Fox to $65,000,000,100

Deal Would Include FastPass+ For Life For Flight of Passage Ride Disney raised their original bid to purchase Fox yesterday. They countered Comcast’s bid of $65 billion with a new bid of $65-billion-one-hundred. This effectively raised the top bid by one-hundred dollars. Further sweetening the bid was a promise to give away Flight of Passage FastPass+ reservations for life. The popular thrill ride is located in the new Pandora area of Disney’s Animal Kingdom. The extra $100 being offered is a symbolic gesture meant to highlight the prestige of those unlimited FastPass+ reservations. “I wouldn’t gloss over that hundred bucks,”… Continue reading this fake story…

Top 10 Places to Break Up at Walt Disney World

You think a trip to Disney World is going to save your relationship but you are dead wrong. If anything, this vacation of yours has intensified your hate for one another. With this in mind, we present to you the top 10 places to break up throughout Walt Disney World, courtesy of Typhoid Lagoon’s Senior Relationship Expert, Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III. 10 – Space Mountain As you are screaming and hollering throughout the rapid descents and twisting turns, proclaim to your (former) lover that it’s over. It will be dark so they won’t be able to find your face to… Continue reading this fake story…

Animal Kingdom to Replace Toilets with Portables

Officials at Disney’s Animal Kingdom announced last Wednesday that they will soon be phasing out the traditional restrooms found in most public places in favor of the portable toilets that are common with outdoor festivals and residential remodel job sites in rich neighborhoods. The move comes after Disney’s Animal Kingdom has reportedly been hemorrhaging money lately with the pending addition of an Avatar-themed land plus the delays they’ve been facing with getting their nighttime fireworks display to run properly. “We’ve been looking for ways to cut costs,” Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Vice President of Restroom Operation at Walt Disney World… Continue reading this fake story…

Joe Rohde Earring Watch: UPDATE

We’ve been keeping a close eye on Imagineer Joe Rohde’s earring over the years and have some exciting news to report. It appears as though his earring has now sagged down to the point just above his name tag. Joe Rohde is Executive Designer and Vice President of Walt Disney Imagineering’s Creative division. Rohde has been with Walt Disney Imagineering since 1980 and has been the creative force behind such projects as Expedition Everest at Disney’s Animal Kingdom and Disney’s first Vacation Club property in O’ahu, Hawaii. His trademark earring is a representation of decades-worth of travel across the planet. With… Continue reading this fake story…