The Michael Eisner Story Will Replace One Man’s Dream

Michael Eisner Story Replacing One Man's Dream

Iconic Attraction Will Feature Michael Eisner’s Origins

Officials for Disney’s Hollywood Studios announced today that the beloved One Man’s Dream attraction will soon get a thrilling upgrade. The walk-through attraction will feature memorabilia and a short 90-minute film about Michael Eisner’s life. Eisner was the CEO of The Walt Disney Company from 1984 – 2005. He … Continue reading this fake story…

Ride Closure Makes Magic Kingdom A Half-Day Park

Ride Closures Make Magic Kingdom A Half-Day Park

Tron Construction Will Temporarily Close Two Rides:

With the construction set to begin on the Tron roller coaster, Disney announced some scheduled closures of nearby rides. One of the casualties will be the Walt Disney World Railroad as well as the Tomorrowland Speedway. Both rides will need to close to accommodate the new ride’s … Continue reading this fake story…

Grand Floridian Reverting to Dial-Up Internet

Dial-Up Internet Returning to Grand Floridian

“High Speed Internet Does Not Match Theme”

Officials at the Grand Floridian Resort and Spa announced today that they will soon be phasing out high speed internet in their guest rooms. They will instead revert back to dial-up speeds to keep with the turn-of-the-century theme of the resort.

“Yeah, we looked into … Continue reading this fake story…

Heavily Censored Version of Christopher Robin Coming Soon

Censored Version of Christopher Robin Film Coming Soon

Censored Version Will Have Character Named Winnie The P***

Backlash from the new Christopher Robin movie has forced Disney to re-release a censored version of the film. Parents had been giving the film poor reviews online. The most common complaint was for the excessive use of expletives such as the word poo. A character in … Continue reading this fake story…

Unlock Your Resort Room With Dole Whip

Guests Can Unlock Their Resort Room With A Dole Whip

Disney Set To Dole Whip Your Ass:

This week Disney announced that all Walt Disney World Resort guests will be able to unlock their room with a Dole Whip by the end of this year. Previously guests could use their MagicBand or something called a “key” to gain access to … Continue reading this fake story…