Disney Sprays for Pedophiles Ahead of Opening of Toy Story Land

DHS Spraying for Pedophiles

Exterminators Spraying For Creeps

Rodents and other pests won’t be the only vile creatures not welcome when Toy Story Land opens on June 30th. Disney’s Hollywood Studios will also use their exterminators to spray for pedophiles.

When a new ride or attraction debuts, it is customary for exterminators to spray for insects prior to its … Continue reading this fake story…

Man Doesn’t Think They’ll Get On This Round of Tea Cups

Man Doubts He'll Get On Mad Tea Party This Round

Father of One Seen Counting Guests Ahead of Him

A park guest was recently spotted counting the guests in front of him in the queue for the Mad Tea Party ride at Disney’s Magic Kingdom. He appeared to be trying to figure out whether there would be enough tea cups for him and … Continue reading this fake story…

Disney Raises Bid for Fox to $65,000,000,100

Disney Outbids Comcast

Deal Would Include FastPass+ For Life For Flight of Passage Ride

Disney raised their original bid to purchase Fox yesterday. They countered Comcast’s bid of $65 billion with a new bid of $65-billion-one-hundred. This effectively raised the top bid by one-hundred dollars. Further sweetening the bid was a promise to give away Flight of Passage FastPass+ reservations for life. The … Continue reading this fake story…

Grand Floridian Adding Exclusive Third Monorail Line

Grand Floridian Adding Exclusive Monorail Line

Third Monorail Line Would Connect Magic Kingdom to Grand Floridian

It was announced today that a third monorail track will be added to the Magic Kingdom Resort loop. The new line will connect only the Magic Kingdom and Grand Floridian. A lone monorail train will make the trek back and forth between the two stops. This track … Continue reading this fake story…

One of a Kind Experience: Glamping in Dino-Rama

One Lucky Guest Will Win A Chance to go “Glamping” in Dino-Rama

Last week, Disney announced that one lucky sweepstakes winner will get to spend the night camping in Pandora at Disney’s Animal Kingdom. Fresh off the heels of that announcement, the next “glamping” adventure to take place after that contest concludes was unveiled today. One lucky winner and up to … Continue reading this fake story…