WDW Cast Members to Get Labor Day Off

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Cast Members at the Walt Disney World Resort are being encouraged to take this Labor Day off from work, according to a company wide memo sent to all Disney World Cast Members on Sunday. The resort-wide paid vacation day was granted to all employees in recognition for “putting up with some really wicked assholes.”

People who … Continue reading this fake story…

Epcot to Rename all Parking Lots to “Explore”

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The Walt Disney Company announced on Friday that all seven surface lots would be renamed to “Explore.” The move comes after an increase in guests not remembering which lot they parked in and therefore failing to locate their vehicles.

“Our research indicates that many guests are so amped up to get inside Epcot that … Continue reading this fake story…

Disney’s Magical Express to Install “Tight Ass” Rims

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Disney’s Magical Express is a free shuttle service that takes guests staying at a Walt Disney World Resort hotel to and from the airport. Those busses are about to transport guests in style!

According to a source who has never steered me wrong about these types of things, spinning rims will be added to the entire … Continue reading this fake story…

Area Teenager Not Impressed with Frozen Ever After

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Frozen Ever After, a new attraction at the Norway pavilion in Epcot’s World Showcase recently opened to the delight of millions around the world. But not everyone is happy.

Enter Brendan Allen, a local 14 year old teenager who was at Epcot with his family. He has been among the first people to experience this new … Continue reading this fake story…

MagicBands Being Replaced with Eye Patches

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The internet has been buzzing lately with rumors of a possible replacement to the wrist-worn MagicBands. We have it on good authority that the next generation version of the MagicBand will NOT be worn around the wrist, but over the eye!

“The Walt Disney Company is very excited to announce that soon park guests … Continue reading this fake story…