Animal Kingdom to Replace Toilets with Portables

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Officials at Disney’s Animal Kingdom announced last Wednesday that they will soon be phasing out the traditional restrooms found in most public places in favor of the portable toilets that are common with outdoor festivals and residential remodel job sites in rich neighborhoods.

The move comes after Disney’s Animal Kingdom has reportedly been hemorrhaging money lately with the pending addition of an Avatar-themed land … Continue reading this fake story…

Pixar and Dreamworks Swap Animators at Trade Deadline

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Pixar Animation Studios has announced a trade with Dreamworks SKG Pictures ahead of the September 11th Trade Deadline. In the trade, Dreamworks will give up Modeler Jason Baldwin, Surfacer Fernanda S. Abarca, and Matte Painter Justin Brandstater. In exchange, Pixar will send Animator Erick Oh, Layout Artist Andrew Cadelago, and an intern to be named later to Dreamworks.

Every year, as the success of … Continue reading this fake story…

Free Ice Cream to Guests Who Complain A Lot

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Starting this weekend, any guest who lodges a complaint with Guest Relations will receive a free ice cream cone. Previously, guests who complained walked away with nothing more than free FastPasses or in some cases, free admission to a Disney Park.

“We listened to our guests who complained frequently and they informed us that they were tired of the free FastPasses and park tickets,” … Continue reading this fake story…

Stitch’s Escape Blamed on “Computer Glitch”

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The investigation in to what went wrong on a popular Walt Disney World attraction has concluded. Authorities are blaming the malfunction on a “computer glitch.”

Last month, it was reported that Stitch, the main subject who gets teleported to Earth, had actually escaped the ride. The ride is located in the Tomorrowland area of Walt Disney World’s Magic … Continue reading this fake story…

WDW Cast Members to Get Labor Day Off

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Cast Members at the Walt Disney World Resort are being encouraged to take this Labor Day off from work, according to a company wide memo sent to all Disney World Cast Members on Sunday. The resort-wide paid vacation day was granted to all employees in recognition for “putting up with some really wicked assholes.”

People who … Continue reading this fake story…