Unlock Your Resort Room With Dole Whip

Guests Can Unlock Their Resort Room With A Dole Whip

Disney Set To Dole Whip Your Ass:

This week Disney announced that all Walt Disney World Resort guests will be able to unlock their room with a Dole Whip by the end of this year. Previously guests could use their MagicBand or something called a “key” to gain access to … Continue reading this fake story…

Bootleg Plastic Straws Becoming A Problem

Bootleg Plastic Disney Straws Selling Illegally Off Property

Discount Plastic Straws Being Sold Off-Property:

This week Disney announced they will eliminate the use of single-use plastic straws from their parks by mid-2019. Many applauded the move saying that it shows that Disney is doing its best to lead the way in conservation efforts. Critics of the move say it’s insensitive to those needing … Continue reading this fake story…

Liberty Belle River Boat Installing “Insane” Mode

Magic Kingdom Adding INSANE Mode to Liberty Belle River Boat

Insane Mode Makes Ride Liberty Square’s First E-Ticket Attraction —

One of the most common complaints from guests who board the Liberty Belle Riverboat at the Magic Kingdom is that it is much too slow. Disney Imagineers will soon install an “Insane” mode to increase the paddle boat’s top speed. Right now … Continue reading this fake story…

Epcot Adding FEMA Trailers Ahead of Festivals

FEMA Trailers Being Added to Epcot

Epcot Prepares for New Wave of Guests:

The Food and Wine Festival at Epcot kicks off on August 30th. Disney has begun moving in FEMA trailers in preparation for the large crowds expected during the park’s festival season.

Over the years, the Food and Wine Festival has grown exponentially in popularity. Epcot … Continue reading this fake story…

The Flat Spaceship Earth Society Gains Traction

Flat (Spaceship) Earth Society

Group Vows to Defy Logic and Common Sense

A very small yet vocal group of slow thinkers have recently been gaining mainstream traction. They call themselves the Flat Spaceship Earth Society. The FSES believes that the Spaceship Earth attraction at Epcot is actually flat. They say that there isn’t enough evidence to support the attraction as a geodesic … Continue reading this fake story…