BREAKING: Magic Kingdom Security Screening Moving to Discovery Island

Guests traveling to the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World will soon be re-routed to the former site of Discovery Island to be screened by security prior to entering the park. The move is meant to alleviate crowd congestion in the small area in front of Magic Kingdom.

“We were looking for ways to thin out the crowd and then someone [at the meeting] mentioned … Continue reading this fake story…

Man Becomes Ill Due to “Lack of Magic”

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A tourist visiting Walt Disney World last week fell ill just before he was scheduled to return to his home outside of Houston, Texas. The doctors diagnosed him with what medical professionals are calling a “Magic Deficiency” which is caused by suddenly being deprived of Magic.

The story starts when Hans Jameson flew to Orlando for his annual Walt Disney World vacation. For eight days, he was surrounded … Continue reading this fake story…

New Cabana Locations Announced

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Earlier this week, private cabanas started popping up around Walt Disney World Resort. These cabanas rent for $649 a day and can accommodate up to eight guests. Response from the ultra-elite has been so positive for this amenity that Disney is frantically adding more cabanas across the property.

The first cabanas started popping up poolside at Disney’s Contemporary Resort and Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort and Spa. With the … Continue reading this fake story…

Donald Trump Animatronic Too Large For Structure

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With the outcome of the 2016 Presidential Campaign behind us, Disney Imagineers are now focused on creating the Donald Trump Audio Animatronic to add to the Hall of Presidents attraction. Sources are informing us that it appears as though they have already run into trouble.

“Well, in order to get the Donald Trump Animatronic as authentic as possible, I think we’re going to have to gut the whole … Continue reading this fake story…

Candidates Battle for Disney World’s Electoral Votes

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The 2016 Presidential Candidates are making their final desperate stops at Walt Disney World today in an attempt to sway any undecided voters. Presidential nominees Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, Gary Johnson, and Jill Stein will be campaigning throughout the resort.

Secretary Hillary Clinton will be campaigning outside the Rock ’n’ Roller Coaster and Tower of Terror area of Disney’s Hollywood Studios between 2pm and 4pm.

Donald Trump will … Continue reading this fake story…