Rickshaw Service to Connect Epcot to Hollywood Studios

Typhoid Lagoon spies have recently uncovered permits filed by Reedy Creek Improvement District to start a new transportation service between the parks. The files indicate that rickshaws are being strongly considered to shuttle guests from park to park.

Rickshaws (alternatively known as “ricksha” and “rikisha” in other parts of the world) are human-powered carts that have a maximum capacity of two people – or one … Continue reading this fake story…

Spaceship Earth to be Remade as Ball from Indiana Jones Movie

The famous rolling ball that almost flattened Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark will soon be part of the makeover for the iconic Spaceship Earth attraction at Epcot. This comes in response to the backlash over projecting an image of the Death Star from the Star Wars films onto the beloved attraction.

“We were shocked by the reaction of some … Continue reading this fake story…

Man Becomes Ill Due to “Lack of Magic”

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A tourist visiting Walt Disney World last week fell ill just before he was scheduled to return to his home outside of Houston, Texas. The doctors diagnosed him with what medical professionals are calling a “Magic Deficiency” which is caused by suddenly being deprived of Magic.

The story starts when Hans Jameson flew to Orlando for his annual Walt Disney World vacation. For eight days, he was surrounded … Continue reading this fake story…

Candidates Battle for Disney World’s Electoral Votes

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The 2016 Presidential Candidates are making their final desperate stops at Walt Disney World today in an attempt to sway any undecided voters. Presidential nominees Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, Gary Johnson, and Jill Stein will be campaigning throughout the resort.

Secretary Hillary Clinton will be campaigning outside the Rock ’n’ Roller Coaster and Tower of Terror area of Disney’s Hollywood Studios between 2pm and 4pm.

Donald Trump will … Continue reading this fake story…

Mike Tyson Next to Narrate Spaceship Earth

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Epcot officials announced today that the next celebrity voice to narrate the Spaceship Earth attraction will be Mike Tyson. The former professional boxer beat out a long line of celebrities vying for the job including Rosanne Barr, Brendan Fraser, Fran Drescher, and Brock Lesner.

“We are very excited to have Mr. Mike Tyson be our next narrator,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Vice President of Epcot’s … Continue reading this fake story…