The Michael Eisner Story Will Replace One Man’s Dream

Iconic Attraction Will Feature Michael Eisner’s Origins Officials for Disney’s Hollywood Studios announced today that the beloved One Man’s Dream attraction will soon get a thrilling upgrade. The walk-through attraction will feature memorabilia and a short 90-minute film about Michael Eisner’s life. Eisner was the CEO of The Walt Disney Company from 1984 – 2005. He is credited for bringing Disney to a larger mainstream audience and turning it into a highly profitable company. “We think it’s time the world hears the Michael Eisner story,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III. Geronimo is Vice President of the Attraction Refurbishment Division for… Continue reading this fake story…

ABC Commissary Ranked #1 Restaurant Alphabetically

Quick Service Restaurant Gets Honors At Top of Alphabet The prestigious honors were bestowed upon the ABC Commissary for appearing at the top of several lists which rank restaurants based on the alphabet. As Hollywood Studios’ premiere quick service dining location, the new recognition for ABC Commissary can only do good things for a park that had seen a decline in attendance over the years. “This is the shot in the arm we needed,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Vice President of WDW Dining. “Getting ranked number one alphabetically will do wonders for restoring our park’s street cred until Galaxy’s… Continue reading this fake story…

Hollywood Studios Adding ‘Vloggers Lane’

New Lane Meant to Ease Traffic From “Famous” Social Media Stars – In response to the extensive coverage of Toy Story Land on social media, Disney will start testing a “Vloggers Lane” around its parks. Video bloggers, or “vloggers” have been known to hold up lines and disrupt traffic flow as they broadcast video online to their dozens of followers. This new lane will ease traffic so people can selfishly stream a new video without disturbing the guests behind them. “In days past, we saw inconsiderate people in wheelchairs slow up the flow of traffic,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III.… Continue reading this fake story…

WFTV 9 To Add Toy Story Land Crowds To The Traffic Report

News Channel Will Alert Viewers to Crowd Levels – Toy Story Land opened on Saturday to great reception among guests visiting Disney’s Hollywood Studios. Crowds were so heavy that reports surfaced of lines reaching as far as the Transportation and Ticket Center. The disruption to traffic caused ABC-affiliate WFTV 9 to start alerting viewers to the crowds around Disney’s Hollywood Studios during their morning broadcast. “It was an easy decision to make,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Chief Traffic Engineer at WFTV 9. “When there are this many people in one place, it is our duty to alert our viewers… Continue reading this fake story…

Disney Sprays for Pedophiles Ahead of Opening of Toy Story Land

Exterminators Spraying For Creeps Rodents and other pests won’t be the only vile creatures not welcome when Toy Story Land opens on June 30th. Disney’s Hollywood Studios will also use their exterminators to spray for pedophiles. When a new ride or attraction debuts, it is customary for exterminators to spray for insects prior to its opening. Disney chose to take it a step further for the new kid-oriented land at Disney’s Hollywood Studios. They hope to keep the area clear of creepy people who would otherwise prey on children. “It’s one of those things that you don’t really notice until… Continue reading this fake story…