BREAKING: Magic Kingdom Security Screening Moving to Discovery Island

Guests traveling to the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World will soon be re-routed to the former site of Discovery Island to be screened by security prior to entering the park. The move is meant to alleviate crowd congestion in the small area in front of Magic Kingdom.

“We were looking for ways to thin out the crowd and then someone [at the meeting] mentioned … Continue reading this fake story…

Rickshaw Service to Connect Epcot to Hollywood Studios

Typhoid Lagoon spies have recently uncovered permits filed by Reedy Creek Improvement District to start a new transportation service between the parks. The files indicate that rickshaws are being strongly considered to shuttle guests from park to park.

Rickshaws (alternatively known as “ricksha” and “rikisha” in other parts of the world) are human-powered carts that have a maximum capacity of two people – or one … Continue reading this fake story…

Spaceship Earth to be Remade as Ball from Indiana Jones Movie

The famous rolling ball that almost flattened Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark will soon be part of the makeover for the iconic Spaceship Earth attraction at Epcot. This comes in response to the backlash over projecting an image of the Death Star from the Star Wars films onto the beloved attraction.

“We were shocked by the reaction of some … Continue reading this fake story…

Man Becomes Ill Due to “Lack of Magic”

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A tourist visiting Walt Disney World last week fell ill just before he was scheduled to return to his home outside of Houston, Texas. The doctors diagnosed him with what medical professionals are calling a “Magic Deficiency” which is caused by suddenly being deprived of Magic.

The story starts when Hans Jameson flew to Orlando for his annual Walt Disney World vacation. For eight days, he was surrounded … Continue reading this fake story…

New Cabana Locations Announced

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Earlier this week, private cabanas started popping up around Walt Disney World Resort. These cabanas rent for $649 a day and can accommodate up to eight guests. Response from the ultra-elite has been so positive for this amenity that Disney is frantically adding more cabanas across the property.

The first cabanas started popping up poolside at Disney’s Contemporary Resort and Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort and Spa. With the … Continue reading this fake story…