The Michael Eisner Story Will Replace One Man’s Dream

Iconic Attraction Will Feature Michael Eisner’s Origins Officials for Disney’s Hollywood Studios announced today that the beloved One Man’s Dream attraction will soon get a thrilling upgrade. The walk-through attraction will feature memorabilia and a short 90-minute film about Michael Eisner’s life. Eisner was the CEO of The Walt Disney Company from 1984 – 2005. He is credited for bringing Disney to a larger mainstream audience and turning it into a highly profitable company. “We think it’s time the world hears the Michael Eisner story,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III. Geronimo is Vice President of the Attraction Refurbishment Division for… Continue reading this fake story…

Heavily Censored Version of Christopher Robin Coming Soon

Censored Version Will Have Character Named Winnie The P*** Backlash from the new Christopher Robin movie has forced Disney to re-release a censored version of the film. Parents had been giving the film poor reviews online. The most common complaint was for the excessive use of expletives such as the word poo. A character in the film is even named after the bodily excrement. “It seems like parents are going to find absolutely anything to complain about these days,” says Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III. Geronimo is Vice President of Disney’s Film Censorship Council. Their group is responsible for screening films… Continue reading this fake story…

Disney Raises Bid for Fox to $65,000,000,100

Deal Would Include FastPass+ For Life For Flight of Passage Ride Disney raised their original bid to purchase Fox yesterday. They countered Comcast’s bid of $65 billion with a new bid of $65-billion-one-hundred. This effectively raised the top bid by one-hundred dollars. Further sweetening the bid was a promise to give away Flight of Passage FastPass+ reservations for life. The popular thrill ride is located in the new Pandora area of Disney’s Animal Kingdom. The extra $100 being offered is a symbolic gesture meant to highlight the prestige of those unlimited FastPass+ reservations. “I wouldn’t gloss over that hundred bucks,”… Continue reading this fake story…

Cars 3 Storyline Released

A teaser trailer for Disney/Pixar’s Cars 3 was released last week and it showed Lightning McQueen crashing in slow motion on the race track. In an unusual move, fans of the franchise quickly jumped to conclusions online rather than waiting for the movie to come out to get the full story. Fans are stating that this trailer is “too dark” for audiences, citing how cars never crash in NASCAR or in real life. “Yes, I will absolutely judge a movie based on 30 seconds out of a 90 minute movie,” wrote one jaded online “journalist” Aiden Montrose. “Getting the whole… Continue reading this fake story…

Disney Interested in Purchasing Ashley Madison

The Walt Disney Company may be interested in purchasing a very popular (and legitimate, Lisa) website in the near future. AshleyMadison.com, an online dating site that is marketed toward people who are in married or committed relationships, has been actively shopping for buyers since their site was hacked in July 2015. They may have found a buyer in the Walt Disney Company. Yesterday, Twitter was trending about the proposed sale of Ashley Madison to Disney. While a few rejoiced the news, many were quick to criticize. “Ashley Madison + Disney? Really?!” tweeted @CrazedDiz. “Aren’t there more profitable adult sites to… Continue reading this fake story…