Top 10 Expert Tips and Secrets from Disney Veterans

Getting around Disney World can be tough for newbies. Never fear, because Typhoid Lagoon is here. Just follow our top 10 tips and secrets from Typhoid Lagoon’s expert panel of Walt Disney World veterans. Our exclusive panel of six (headed by Vice President of Typhoid Lagoon’s Vacation Experts, Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III) have been to Disney World a total of five times between them, so they definitely know what they’re talking about. Check it out.   10) Walt Disney World is named after a real person. Walt Disney World isn’t just a clever brand name like Google, Apple, and PornHub.… Continue reading this fake story…

BREAKING: Magic Kingdom Security Screening Moving to Discovery Island

Guests traveling to the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World will soon be re-routed to the former site of Discovery Island to be screened by security prior to entering the park. The move is meant to alleviate crowd congestion in the small area in front of Magic Kingdom. “We were looking for ways to thin out the crowd and then someone [at the meeting] mentioned Discovery Island and we were like, ‘well, duh!’,” said Harris Bonneville, Vice President of Security for Magic Kingdom Park. “It was the perfect answer to our problem.” Guests traveling to the Magic Kingdom in recent… Continue reading this fake story…

Premium Transportation Service to Include Drones

Earlier this month, the Walt Disney World Resort announced a new premium option that will take park-hopping guests from one park to another via the backstage areas of the resort, for a fee of $15 a day. Response has been so positive that Disney plans to add an ultra-premium option, that will transport guests not by bus, but by drone – effectively cutting their transit time in half. “In theory, a guest could get off of Space Mountain, harness up to the drone, and be in line for Tower of Terror in 10 minutes,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Vice… Continue reading this fake story…

Spaceship Earth to be Remade as Ball from Indiana Jones Movie

The famous rolling ball that almost flattened Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark will soon be part of the makeover for the iconic Spaceship Earth attraction at Epcot. This comes in response to the backlash over projecting an image of the Death Star from the Star Wars films onto the beloved attraction. “We were shocked by the reaction of some Disney fans online to the Death Star projection on Spaceship Earth,” said Remi Angeles, Vice President of Social Media Relations for Walt Disney World. “We weren’t shocked that people were rejecting the change because that is commonplace with… Continue reading this fake story…

New Cabana Locations Announced

Earlier this week, private cabanas started popping up around Walt Disney World Resort. These cabanas rent for $649 a day and can accommodate up to eight guests. Response from the ultra-elite has been so positive for this amenity that Disney is frantically adding more cabanas across the property. The first cabanas started popping up poolside at Disney’s Contemporary Resort and Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort and Spa. With the great response, Disney tested one in-park location just outside of Space Mountain in Tomorrowland. Typhoid Lagoon is delighted to report that the cabanas are sold out for the next six weeks as… Continue reading this fake story…