Unlock Your Resort Room With Dole Whip

Guests Can Unlock Their Resort Room With A Dole Whip

Disney Set To Dole Whip Your Ass:

This week Disney announced that all Walt Disney World Resort guests will be able to unlock their room with a Dole Whip by the end of this year. Previously guests could use their MagicBand or something called a “key” to gain access to … Continue reading this fake story…

Disney Raises Bid for Fox to $65,000,000,100

Disney Outbids Comcast

Deal Would Include FastPass+ For Life For Flight of Passage Ride

Disney raised their original bid to purchase Fox yesterday. They countered Comcast’s bid of $65 billion with a new bid of $65-billion-one-hundred. This effectively raised the top bid by one-hundred dollars. Further sweetening the bid was a promise to give away Flight of Passage FastPass+ reservations for life. The … Continue reading this fake story…

BREAKING: Great Movie Ride Closed Due To Frequent Hijackings

Last fall, a beloved attraction at Disney’s Hollywood Studios said goodbye. It was announced that The Great Movie Ride would close in August 2017 and be replaced by Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway some time in 2019. The attraction had been a staple at the park since it opened on May 1, 1989.

But what was the reason for the … Continue reading this fake story…

Local Gator’s Union to Go On Strike

The local chapter of the National Alliance of Crocodiles and Alligators Union (NACAU) out of Lake Buena Vista, Florida has announced plans to sue the Walt Disney Company for discrimination and deliberate segregation practices if their demands are not met.

This move comes almost two years after Disney started putting rocks and fencing along shorelines, effectively forcing alligators who reside on … Continue reading this fake story…

BREAKING: New ‘Truly Haunted’ Hotel Coming to WDW

The Walt Disney Company announced that a new hotel will be built just behind Magic Kingdom’s Haunted Mansion ride. It will be themed directly to the iconic attraction and feature exclusive after-hours access.

“The hotel will be a first-of-its-kind resort that will be truly haunted from day one,” said Gloria Hopps, Project Lead on the yet-to-be-named resort. “Most hotels gain … Continue reading this fake story…