IllumiNations Replacing Fireworks With Sparklers

IllumiNations Replacing Fireworks With Sparklers

Sparklers Being Used In New Sensory-Friendly Show

Parents of sensory-sensitive children are rejoicing this morning as Disney has announced to replace IllumiNations with a tamed down version of the show. IllumiNations is a nighttime fireworks spectacular featuring music, fire, lasers, explosions, and fireworks. It’s really awesome but for a child with sensory issues, however, it can be a … Continue reading this fake story…

Grand Floridian Reverting to Dial-Up Internet

Dial-Up Internet Returning to Grand Floridian

“High Speed Internet Does Not Match Theme”

Officials at the Grand Floridian Resort and Spa announced today that they will soon be phasing out high speed internet in their guest rooms. They will instead revert back to dial-up speeds to keep with the turn-of-the-century theme of the resort.

“Yeah, we looked into … Continue reading this fake story…

Unlock Your Resort Room With Dole Whip

Guests Can Unlock Their Resort Room With A Dole Whip

Disney Set To Dole Whip Your Ass:

This week Disney announced that all Walt Disney World Resort guests will be able to unlock their room with a Dole Whip by the end of this year. Previously guests could use their MagicBand or something called a “key” to gain access to … Continue reading this fake story…

Disney Raises Bid for Fox to $65,000,000,100

Disney Outbids Comcast

Deal Would Include FastPass+ For Life For Flight of Passage Ride

Disney raised their original bid to purchase Fox yesterday. They countered Comcast’s bid of $65 billion with a new bid of $65-billion-one-hundred. This effectively raised the top bid by one-hundred dollars. Further sweetening the bid was a promise to give away Flight of Passage FastPass+ reservations for life. The … Continue reading this fake story…

BREAKING: Great Movie Ride Closed Due To Frequent Hijackings

Last fall, a beloved attraction at Disney’s Hollywood Studios said goodbye. It was announced that The Great Movie Ride would close in August 2017 and be replaced by Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway some time in 2019. The attraction had been a staple at the park since it opened on May 1, 1989.

But what was the reason for the … Continue reading this fake story…