BREAKING: Magic Kingdom Security Screening Moving to Discovery Island

Guests traveling to the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World will soon be re-routed to the former site of Discovery Island to be screened by security prior to entering the park. The move is meant to alleviate crowd congestion in the small area in front of Magic Kingdom.

“We were looking for ways to thin out the crowd and then someone [at the meeting] mentioned … Continue reading this fake story…

Beauty and the Beast Gets R-Rating

The live action version of Beauty and the Beast opening this Friday will be rated R according to reports. The film is an adaptation of the 1991 animated classic by the same title. In an unusual move, the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) announced the rating change the same week the film is to be released.

“After careful consideration, we decided to give … Continue reading this fake story…

Rickshaw Service to Connect Epcot to Hollywood Studios

Typhoid Lagoon spies have recently uncovered permits filed by Reedy Creek Improvement District to start a new transportation service between the parks. The files indicate that rickshaws are being strongly considered to shuttle guests from park to park.

Rickshaws (alternatively known as “ricksha” and “rikisha” in other parts of the world) are human-powered carts that have a maximum capacity of two people – or one … Continue reading this fake story…

Premium Transportation Service to Include Drones

Earlier this month, the Walt Disney World Resort announced a new premium option that will take park-hopping guests from one park to another via the backstage areas of the resort, for a fee of $15 a day.

Response has been so positive that Disney plans to add an ultra-premium option, that will transport guests not by bus, but by drone – effectively cutting their transit … Continue reading this fake story…

Spaceship Earth to be Remade as Ball from Indiana Jones Movie

The famous rolling ball that almost flattened Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark will soon be part of the makeover for the iconic Spaceship Earth attraction at Epcot. This comes in response to the backlash over projecting an image of the Death Star from the Star Wars films onto the beloved attraction.

“We were shocked by the reaction of some … Continue reading this fake story…