Man Awakes From Coma: Take Me To CommuniCore!

Man Awakens From Coma: “Take Me To CommuniCore!”

Breaking News Epcot Walt Disney World

Man Awakes From Coma: Take Me To CommuniCore!

Man In For A World Of Hurt:

A man who slipped and hit his head in 1989 has finally awaken from his coma. His first words to his wife: “Take me to CommuniCore!”

Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III was visiting Epcot in 1989 when he made the fateful decision to purchase a frozen Mickey ice cream bar. His butter fingers quickly dropped that ice cream bar on the pavement. He slipped on the melted ice cream as he was reaching down to clean it up, which caused him to hit his head hard on a concrete bench. He had been in a coma ever since.

Last Thursday, Geronimo finally woke up from his coma and was immediately asking to return to his favorite theme park attraction in the world: CommuniCore.

“I can’t wait to go back,” said Geronimo. “I love that place! The touch screens at Travelport, the teleconferencing exhibit, SMRT-1 – you can even have a robot draw your face!!”


Man Has Yet To Awaken To Shocking Reality:

Sadly for Geronimo, Communicore was closed in 1994 to make way for Innoventions – a building that promised to showcase cutting edge innovations and inventions forever and ever.

Geronimo’s doctors have urged his family and friends to not overload Geronimo with too many statements about our current reality. Doctors fear that the shock of alerting him to the fact that this attraction no longer exists may send him right back into the coma.

“We’ve asked Geronimo’s family not to say anything about CommuniCore, Horizons, or the general state of Epcot at the moment,” said Dr. Zorders. “A lot has changed in the last 30 years. Many of those who lived through the gradual changes in the last three decades have a hard time coping with the current state of the park. Now imagine someone who has to digest 30 years of changes in the span of a few minutes. This son of a bitch might actually kill himself.”

The family plans to visit Epcot soon but currently does not have a strategy on how to break the news to Geronimo.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.