ABC Commissary Ranked #1 Restaurant Alphabetically

ABC Commissary Ranked #1 Alphabetically

Quick Service Restaurant Gets Honors At Top of Alphabet

The prestigious honors were bestowed upon the ABC Commissary for appearing at the top of several lists which rank restaurants based on the alphabet. As Hollywood Studios’ premiere quick service dining location, the new recognition for ABC Commissary can only do good things for a park that had seen a decline in attendance over the years.

“This is the shot in the arm we needed,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Vice President of WDW Dining. “Getting ranked number one alphabetically will do wonders for restoring our park’s street cred until Galaxy’s Edge opens next year.”

With the loss of the Lights! Motors! Action! Extreme Stunt Show and the Backlot Tour, many fans cried out that the park was a “half-day park” at best. The two attractions were torn down to make room for Galaxy’s Edge and Toy Story Land.

“Apparently, a lot of people got butt-hurt when we closed those attractions,” continued Geronimo. “I had no idea that those were the park’s most popular attractions! I mean, our data says otherwise but our guests know better than us!”

(Editor’s Note: Geronimo’s last statement was laced with heavy sarcasm.)

 

Geronimo Goes Off the Rails

After Geronimo’s lengthy rant, he did eventually get back on track.

“People are starting to return to our park in great numbers,” said Geronimo. “The opening of Toy Story Land helped a little but I think the news of ABC Commissary’s new ranking will help us out tremendously.”

Each year, several independent outlets rank the restaurants throughout Walt Disney World. ABC Commissary consistently comes out on top, when ranked alphabetically.

“We take this honor very seriously,” said Geronimo. “Getting to number one is tough. Staying at number one is even tougher. We’re up for the challenge.”

Be sure to visit the ABC Commissary on your next visit to Hollywood Studios to see why it’s ranked number one (alphabetically).

UPDATE: Some eagle-eyed readers notified our staff that technically 50’s Prime Time Café and 1900 Park Fare would be ranked ahead of ABC Commissary, because their names start with numbers. When reached for comment, Geronimo replied with only, “Shit.”

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