WFTV 9 To Add Toy Story Land Crowds To The Traffic Report

WFTV Adding Toy Story Land Traffic Report to Newscast

News Channel Will Alert Viewers to Crowd Levels –

Toy Story Land opened on Saturday to great reception among guests visiting Disney’s Hollywood Studios. Crowds were so heavy that reports surfaced of lines reaching as far as the Transportation and Ticket Center. The disruption to traffic caused ABC-affiliate WFTV 9 to start alerting viewers to the crowds around Disney’s Hollywood Studios during their morning broadcast.

“It was an easy decision to make,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Chief Traffic Engineer at WFTV 9. “When there are this many people in one place, it is our duty to alert our viewers to the crowd conditions [inside Toy Story Land].”

On Saturday, the queue to enter the new land at Disney’s Hollywood Studios extended far beyond the park’s boundaries. Sunday didn’t fare much better as the lines extended all the way to the Magic Kingdom toll plaza. This effectively halted any progress on the construction of a new overpass. We even received reports of guests who made it as far as the Boardwalk by the time the park closed on Saturday, only to be forced to set up base camp until the park re-opened the next morning. Some of the people we spoke to didn’t even know why they were standing in line.

“I saw a crowd of people and I just thought I better get in line before I miss out,” said Feebus McGraw, a local unemployed resident. “From what I hear, they’re giving away a free popcorn bucket up there so I’m definitely sticking around for that!”

 

Crowd Reports Are A Test For New Star Wars Land –

The inclusion of crowd activity to the morning traffic report is meant to be a “dry run,” if you will. When the new Star Wars-themed land opens at Disney’s Hollywood Studios in the fall of 2019, crowds are expected to rival that of people seeking federal aid after a natural disaster, or when McDonald’s re-releases the McRib.

“We’re expecting satellites to be obscured when Galaxy’s Edge opens,” Geronimo continued. “There’s going to be so many God-damned people that you’ll wish for a plague that’ll wipe out half the population. At the very least, we expect people to mention to their friends that people need to ‘stop fucking so much’. That’s when our viewers will need us most.”

Geronimo hopes that the WFTV traffic engineers can work out all the kinks now so that they are going to be completely ready when Galaxy’s Edge opens.

“For news, traffic, and weather you can trust turn to the WFTV 9 News team. Honest. Accurate. Compassionate,” Geronimo said, unprompted.

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