Richard Gerth Respawns Near Discovery Island

Longtime fans of Walt Disney World were saddened to learn of the sudden, unexpected, shocking, and unbelievable passing of Richard Gerth late last week. Gerth, aged 92 Earth-cycles, was a greeter at Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort & Spa and had developed quite a following after working the same position for almost 30 years. However those same fans’ sorrow and anguish quickly turned into jubilation late Sunday night after it was unveiled that his character had respawned near Discovery Island. Richard Gerth is back and he’s better than ever. When he respawned, he gained 1000 XP, re-gained all of his original… Continue reading this fake story…

Great Movie Ride Hijacker VAPORIZED In Front Of Guests

Earlier this week, we started telling you about the reason why The Great Movie Ride closed down late last year at Disney’s Hollywood Studios. The beloved attraction had been plagued with hijackings in its later years; so much so that Disney executives finally decided to pull the plug on the ride rather than deal with the problem. In Monday’s article, we spoke with Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, a terminally-ill park guest who was one of the many people who were victims of The Great Movie Ride hijackings. He started speaking to us about his experience when we were suddenly interrupted… Continue reading this fake story…

BREAKING: Great Movie Ride Closed Due To Frequent Hijackings

Last fall, a beloved attraction at Disney’s Hollywood Studios said goodbye. It was announced that The Great Movie Ride would close in August 2017 and be replaced by Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway some time in 2019. The attraction had been a staple at the park since it opened on May 1, 1989. But what was the reason for the closure? Low crowds? Escalating budget to secure film rights? Time for a refreshing change? Or was it something far more sinister? We can report with almost complete certainty that the reason for the closure was due to frequent hijackings. The… Continue reading this fake story…

Chewbacca Star Wars Spin-Off In The Works

In response to positive reaction from the Solo film that was just released, Disney and Lucasfilm will be creating a Star Wars spin-off movie comprised entirely of Chewbacca’s origin story. “We’re very excited to finally tell the stories found in the Star Wars universe from a Wookiee point of view,” said Courtney Villas, Vice President of the Star Wars Infiltration Initiative at Disney/Lucasfilm. “We got a taste of [Chewbacca’s origin story] in the prequels and fans were left with craving more from the world of Kashyyyk.” For those of you who haven’t ever seen a Star Wars movie (Todd and… Continue reading this fake story…