Disney Sprays for Pedophiles Ahead of Opening of Toy Story Land

Exterminators Spraying For Creeps Rodents and other pests won’t be the only vile creatures not welcome when Toy Story Land opens on June 30th. Disney’s Hollywood Studios will also use their exterminators to spray for pedophiles. When a new ride or attraction debuts, it is customary for exterminators to spray for insects prior to its opening. Disney chose to take it a step further for the new kid-oriented land at Disney’s Hollywood Studios. They hope to keep the area clear of creepy people who would otherwise prey on children. “It’s one of those things that you don’t really notice until… Continue reading this fake story…

Man Doesn’t Think They’ll Get On This Round of Tea Cups

Father of One Seen Counting Guests Ahead of Him A park guest was recently spotted counting the guests in front of him in the queue for the Mad Tea Party ride at Disney’s Magic Kingdom. He appeared to be trying to figure out whether there would be enough tea cups for him and his daughter. “It doesn’t look like we’ll make it this time, honey,” Ben Flint said to his daughter. “We’ll get on next time though.” Ben Flint is a guest who was enjoying the Magic Kingdom on that warm summer day we met up with him. When we… Continue reading this fake story…

Disney Raises Bid for Fox to $65,000,000,100

Deal Would Include FastPass+ For Life For Flight of Passage Ride Disney raised their original bid to purchase Fox yesterday. They countered Comcast’s bid of $65 billion with a new bid of $65-billion-one-hundred. This effectively raised the top bid by one-hundred dollars. Further sweetening the bid was a promise to give away Flight of Passage FastPass+ reservations for life. The popular thrill ride is located in the new Pandora area of Disney’s Animal Kingdom. The extra $100 being offered is a symbolic gesture meant to highlight the prestige of those unlimited FastPass+ reservations. “I wouldn’t gloss over that hundred bucks,”… Continue reading this fake story…

Grand Floridian Adding Exclusive Third Monorail Line

Third Monorail Line Would Connect Magic Kingdom to Grand Floridian It was announced today that a third monorail track will be added to the Magic Kingdom Resort loop. The new line will connect only the Magic Kingdom and Grand Floridian. A lone monorail train will make the trek back and forth between the two stops. This track will serve only those guests staying at the Grand Floridian who are otherwise too precious to wait through three other stops before they arrive at their resort. Currently, guests staying at the Grand Floridian Resort & Spa must first stop at Disney’s Contemporary… Continue reading this fake story…

One of a Kind Experience: Glamping in Dino-Rama

One Lucky Guest Will Win A Chance to go “Glamping” in Dino-Rama Last week, Disney announced that one lucky sweepstakes winner will get to spend the night camping in Pandora at Disney’s Animal Kingdom. Fresh off the heels of that announcement, the next “glamping” adventure to take place after that contest concludes was unveiled today. One lucky winner and up to four other guests will get to spend the night in Chester and Hester’s Dino-Rama at Disney’s Animal Kingdom. Glamping is a blending of the words “glamour” and “camping” and describes a style of camping that combines nature with modern… Continue reading this fake story…