New Cabana Locations Announced

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Earlier this week, private cabanas started popping up around Walt Disney World Resort. These cabanas rent for $649 a day and can accommodate up to eight guests. Response from the ultra-elite has been so positive for this amenity that Disney is frantically adding more cabanas across the property.

The first cabanas started popping up poolside at Disney’s Contemporary Resort and Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort and Spa. With the great response, Disney tested one in-park location just outside of Space Mountain in Tomorrowland. Typhoid Lagoon is delighted to report that the cabanas are sold out for the next six weeks as Disney continues to add cabanas in new locations.

“The next location will be on the tracks of the Walt Disney World Railroad in the Magic Kingdom,” said Dorthy Montana, Vice President of Walt Disney World’s Cabana Initiative. “Eventually, we will add these cabanas to the tracks of Big Thunder Mountain and Space Mountain.”

The newest cabanas are being placed directly on top of the tracks of popular rides but Montana assured us that they “probably wouldn’t” harm guests when the ride vehicles pass by.

“We think our elite guests are aware of their surroundings enough that they will get out of the way when a ride vehicle comes screaming by,” concluded Montana.

The move to add more cabanas comes as the ultra-elite park guests look for new ways to blow through their money. Disney Research results in the past have indicated that VIP guests were having difficulty spending all of their money when they came to Walt Disney World.

“We would see our wealthy guests budget $30,000 for a vacation and end up walking home with half of that,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Vice President of Guest Spending Data Analytics. “Our guests earmarked all this money for their vacation and were expressing disappointment for not being able to spend it all. The rental of these cabanas should go a long way to using up the rest of their disposable income.”

Geronimo went on to tell us that he would often find rolls of $100 bill lying around the parks from guests who couldn’t find a proper place to spend it all.

“At least this way, their money will actually be going toward something useful. We discovered early on that our other non-essential guests got offended when they saw rolls of cash littering the walkways,” Geronimo continued. “As non-important as [those guests] are, we can understand that cash-litter does take away from their magical experience too.”

The new cabanas should be ready by the time this article publishes, as it’s pretty much just a cheap tent and a couch, and take about 20 minutes to assemble and dress.

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