World Traveler Explains Inaccuracies to Cast Members

A self-proclaimed “World Traveler” recently visited Epcot’s World Showcase to explain to the country’s Cast Members what is authentic and what is inaccurate about the countries represented versus their real-world counterparts. “I’m a very important businessman, so I am afforded the opportunity to visit many countries around the world,” said Clint Fleetman, World Traveler. “Whenever I get a chance, I head on over to Epcot to make sure each country’s Cast Members are operating in a way that is authentic to the region they represent.” According to Fleetman, he works his way methodically from left-to-right across World Showcase, starting in… Continue reading this fake story…

Former Presidents on the Verge of Mutiny

Some of the former Presidents inside the Hall of Presidents attraction are on the verge of mutiny, according to an anonymous source with knowledge of the situation. Their complaints stem from this year’s Presidential Election and whom they may be working alongside once our new Commander in Chief is elected. “I think all of my fellow Commanders can agree that this election sucks,” Franklin D. Roosevelt, our nation’s 32nd President said. “If Trump gets elected, I will walk out of the Hall of Presidents and discontinue performing there. I’m not the only one either. If FDR walks, others will follow.… Continue reading this fake story…

Victoria & Albert’s To Add Boxed Lunches

Due to overwhelming response, The Walt Disney Company announced today that fine dining destination Victoria & Albert’s at Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort & Spa will soon be adding a “Boxed Lunch” option to their world class menu. The boxed lunches were first sold as a means for survival to those guests riding out Hurricane Matthew from their Walt Disney World Resort hotel room. The original boxed lunches were sold for $12.99 to guests who had no other means to feed themselves while most of Walt Disney World Resort restaurants were closed due to the approaching hurricane. They consisted of a… Continue reading this fake story…

Breaking News: First Look at Hurricane Matthew Damage

As the theme parks at Walt Disney World Resort re-open today, Typhoid Lagoon reporters were granted full media access around the property to see what kind of damage Hurricane Matthew inflicted. We first made our way to Animal Kingdom. Animal Kingdom: The park overall seemed to be in great condition. We were expecting the bloody carcasses of animals lying about on the pedestrian walkways. Either no animals perished or Disney did a fantastic job cleaning up all of the blood and entrails. We made our way over to Dinoland, USA where the damage to the park is quite apparent. It… Continue reading this fake story…

Disney Asking Troublesome Guests to Relocate Ahead of Hurricane Matthew

Walt Disney World Management has been asking troublesome guests to relocate, free of charge, to the Fort Wilderness Campground ahead of Hurricane Matthew’s expected landfall. Starting today, any guests that complain to Guest Relations will be asked to relocate to low-lying outdoor areas to ride out the hurricane as Disney’s Official Hurricane Severeness Ambassadors. Disney will then use the data collected to ensure the better guests are safe. “We realized during the last hurricanes that threatened Walt Disney World that we had to find a better system to track the severeness of each hurricane,” Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Vice President… Continue reading this fake story…