Disney Asking Troublesome Guests to Relocate Ahead of Hurricane Matthew

Breaking News Walt Disney World


Walt Disney World Management has been asking troublesome guests to relocate, free of charge, to the Fort Wilderness Campground ahead of Hurricane Matthew’s expected landfall.

Starting today, any guests that complain to Guest Relations will be asked to relocate to low-lying outdoor areas to ride out the hurricane as Disney’s Official Hurricane Severeness Ambassadors. Disney will then use the data collected to ensure the better guests are safe.

“We realized during the last hurricanes that threatened Walt Disney World that we had to find a better system to track the severeness of each hurricane,” Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Vice President of Disney’s Hurricane Preparedness and Guest Safety Division told us. “The scientific data is nice but it doesn’t tell the whole picture. We needed to find a way to see how bad it is out there right now. The Hurricane Severeness Ambassadors were born out of this necessity.”

The Ambassadors are appointed by complaining about trivial things to Guest Relations, Geronimo told us. They will also be appointed by spotting guest behavior inside the parks. Geronimo gave some examples:

  • Complaining that there are no FastPass+ options available
  • Complaining that you waited too long to get Elsa’s autograph
  • Complaining which spot your car was assigned in the parking lot
  • Being loud and obnoxious in the common areas
  • Staring at your cell phone while walking, instead of watching where you’re going
  • Leaving your trash on the ground, table, or anywhere not inside a trash can
  • Smoking in non-designated areas
  • Walking in common areas and suddenly stopping, disrupting the traffic flow
  • Operating an ECV recklessly
  • Anyone wearing “Make America Great Again” merchandise
  • Any guest from New Jersey

In the few hours this program has been in operation, we already spotted some guests who were chosen as Official Hurricane Severeness Ambassadors.

“Well, we were at Cosmic Ray’s and just finished our lunch,” recalls Billy Stanton, a guest who was visiting the Magic Kingdom today. “It was really busy in there and people were standing around waiting for tables to open. My family sat around for, I don’t know, maybe five to 45 minutes or so and we got up, left our trash on the table, and walked out. That’s when we were approached to be Ambassadors! Our family was really excited!”

Each Ambassador will be given short range walkie talkies to report what the current weather conditions are like to Disney management. They will be asked to report wind speed, rainfall, and whether any of the members of their party are dead or missing. In return, they will receive complimentary lodging outside, a “I Survived Hurricane _______ “ t-shirt, and a 1989 Chevy Lumina.

“We expect great things from the results of this program,” Geronimo concluded. “The data collected outside in the elements during a hurricane will go along way to keeping our tolerable guests safe.”

Have you been chosen as an Official Hurricane Severeness Ambassador? Write about your experience in the comments below.

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