All Road Signs Being Updated with Comic Sans Font

The Reedy Creek Improvement District announced today that they will be doing a complete overhaul of the road signs around Walt Disney World to incorporate the popular Comic Sans font. The RCID is the governing jurisdiction that overseas the municipal services for Walt Disney World. They announced the change of font in response to guest complaints about the road signs not being easy enough to read. “We are very excited to be incorporating the Comic Sans font in all of our road signs,” said Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Interim Vice President of RCID’s Transportation Signage Division. “Guests have been asking… Continue reading this fake story…

Disney to Frighten Guests with Copies of the Their Credit Card Statements

In a move to compete with Universal Orlando’s Halloween Horror Nights, Disney has decided to up the scare factor at their parks during this Halloween season. They will do this by showing guests their current credit card balance, including their “Recent Activity” of the most recent purchases at Disney World. This new scare tactic is a direct result of Disney’s partnership with Visa. Guests with Disney Visa credit cards linked to their MagicBand will have their debt displayed on screens throughout the park, terrifying and ultimately depressing the guests who view it. For guests who do not have a Disney… Continue reading this fake story…

Parks to Start Selling Firearms to Guests

This week, avid theme park fans were shocked when two separate guests at two separate parks were arrested following the discovery of loaded firearms in the possession of a guest at the Walt Disney World Resort. Disney has responded to these incidents by saying they will start selling firearms inside the parks starting next year, so that guests don’t have to go through the trouble of bringing their own weapon from home. “The incidents covered in the media this week have brought this issue into the spotlight,” said Janet Forge, Vice President of Disney’s Guest Firearm Sales and Safety Division.… Continue reading this fake story…

Big Thunder Mountain’s Closure Ruins Family’s Vacation

The scheduled refurbishment of Magic Kingdom’s Big Thunder Mountain roller coaster has ruined one family’s vacation. “I can’t believe I’ve invested all of this money into this vacation and then they close the damn ride!” Anthony Anderson, father of two said about the closure. “Why couldn’t they just wait until after we visit?” The trouble began when Anderson started planning his bi-annual vacation a month ago. Although he admits to not checking Disney’s refurbishment schedule, he claims Disney should have given him a courtesy call the moment his hotel reservation were confirmed. “A phone call would have been nice,” Anderson… Continue reading this fake story…

Hall of Fame Busts Being Updated

Frequent park guests to Disney’s Hollywood Studios were quick to notice the construction walls being placed up in front of the bronze busts of notable celebrities at the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences Hall of Fame Plaza this week. While speculation is running rampant that these busts are being removed, we have it on good authority that the busts are just being updated with more modern celebrities. Currently, the busts of Desi Arnaz, Bea Arthur, Lucille Ball, Diahann Carroll, Dick Clark, Andy Griffith, Mary Tyler Moore, Bob Newhart, Barbara Walters, Betty White, Oprah Winfrey, and some dude named Walt… Continue reading this fake story…