Epcot to Rename all Parking Lots to “Explore”

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The Walt Disney Company announced on Friday that all seven surface lots would be renamed to “Explore.” The move comes after an increase in guests not remembering which lot they parked in and therefore failing to locate their vehicles.

“Our research indicates that many guests are so amped up to get inside Epcot that they forget to make a note of which section their car is parked,” Geoffrey Blanketship, Lead Analyst of Disney World’s Traffic and Transportation Division tells us. “By the time they’re ready to go home, they don’t have the foggiest idea where they parked their car earlier that morning.”

The parking lot’s 11,391 spaces are currently divided into seven sections: Journey, Amaze, Imagine, Discover, Create, Explore, and Wonder. Soon they will all be named “Explore.”

“We think it just makes sense. When you’re looking for your car, you’re ‘exploring’ so why not ‘explore’ your car’s location in the ‘Explore’ lot?” Blanketship continued.

Many industry professionals are applauding the move to a singular parking lot name.

“I think the average park guest will agree that this move should have happened years ago,” Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Typhoid Lagoon’s Vice President of Transportation tells us. “It used to be that a theme park visitor had to guess which lot they parked in out of seven possible choices. Now that same guest will know for sure that they parked in the Explore lot. It takes the guess work out of it.”

While some were happy about this change, many on the internet were quick to criticize the plan.

“It’s just sad that Disney World isn’t the place it was when I was a kid,” wrote one heartbroken discussion board user. “They can’t just leave well enough alone. It seems like there [sic] just looking for ways to ruin everything.”

Despite that stupid bastard’s rant, the move to a singular parking lot name will go on as planned. The users on Disney internet forums have never been ones to understand or even look at facts and figures but our own private research indicates that this move will decrease lost vehicles by up to 54%, making this idea a “no-brainer.”

Look for the new signage at Epcot to start appearing by this holiday season.

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