Disney’s Magical Express to Install “Tight Ass” Rims

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Disney’s Magical Express is a free shuttle service that takes guests staying at a Walt Disney World Resort hotel to and from the airport. Those busses are about to transport guests in style!

According to a source who has never steered me wrong about these types of things, spinning rims will be added to the entire fleet of Disney’s Magical Express busses by January 2017.

“We’re always looking for ways to ‘plus’ anything we do,” John Turner, Vice President of Disney’s Transportation division told me. “We have Planning Commission meetings about what we can do with our busses once or twice a day. This is one of the ideas we came up with at our last meeting.”

Turner told me that typically an idea from the Planning Commission meetings don’t get fast-tracked like this. He said that on average they are planning up to 20 years out.

TyphoidLagoon.com was granted exclusive access to a working prototype of the new busses. I was given a preview of the new spinning rims by Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Lead Designer of Disney’s Magical Express.

“Check it, hommie,” Geronimo said. “Yo peep at deez rims ova here. Dey is so shiny an’ fine. Otha rides be hatin’ on this bling. Dis here bus iz going ta be rollin’ in style Ya’ dig?”

Oh, indeed I dug it. The vehicle’s hubcaps appeared to be made of an aluminum oxide sapphire material with a distinct blend of elegance and function to create a luxury riding experience that will be unmatched by similar modes of transportation.

“This only scratches the surface of what we plan to do to those busses,” Turner continued. “Eventually we’ll be adding flashing neon lights, a full service bar, a stripper pole, and a hover conversion to Disney’s Magical Express.”

I showed the concept art to Janice Anderson, a mother of three from Bemidji, Minnesota who plans on taking her family to Disney World in February of next year.

“Aren’t they just darling?” Anderson said about the new rims in her thick Minnesotan accent. “I think that’s just great what that there Disney is doing over there, donchya know? My golly, my kids are going to really love that.”

The first fleet of shuttles will start implementing spinner rims in early December of this year, with the full roll out complete by January.

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