Tower of Terror to Get a Home on the Range Makeover

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Fresh off Disney’s announcement that Disneyland’s Tower of Terror will get a Guardians of the Galaxy makeover, Florida’s Tower of Terror ride will not be forgotten. Looking to “plus” one of Walt Disney World’s beloved attractions, the Tower of Terror will soon get a makeover based on the 2004 blockbuster smash hit Home on the Range, starring screen legend Randy Quaid.

The film is set in the Old West and centers on a mismatched trio of dairy cows who must capture an infamous cattle rustler for his bounty in order to save their idyllic farm from foreclosure.

“Our first thought was to duplicate the Guardians of the Galaxy makeover that California is receiving,” Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Chief Analyst of Disney’s Attraction Refurbishment Division, writes us. “But a pre-existing licensing agreement forbids us from featuring any characters from the Marvel universe in Florida. Because of this, I think many people would agree that the next best thing to a Guardians of the Galaxy theme would be a Home on the Range theme.

Geronimo is referring to a Marvel licensing agreement for which nearby Universal Studios owns the rights. This agreement pre-dates Disney’s acquisition of Marvel for $4 billion in 2009.

Disney World theme park fans have been clamoring for a change to Tower of Terror, which has been experiencing a decline in attendance in the last several years. Many people have reported that the ride’s stand-by wait time is often listed at a paltry 60 minutes.

“Tower of Terror isn’t as scary as it once was,” super fan Jessica Benes tells us. “I probably only crap my pants in horror one out of every five times. This will definitely be a welcome change.”

Not all people share Benes’ optimism.

“I’ve been trying to preach a Tower of Terror refurbishment for years!” William Martel, Theme Park Enthusiast and curator for the unofficial Walt Disney World Historical Society. “Change needs to happen, but not like this. If any movie deserves to be branded to Tower of Terror, it isn’t Home on the Range or even Guardians of the Galaxy, it’s Mars Needs Moms. The ride’s story pretty much writes itself.”

Our research team could not locate any information whatsoever about the film Mars Needs Moms, leading us to speculate if this film even exists IRL.

“Just think about it,” Martel writes. “Your mom goes missing and then you find her again and then she drops you. That would be when the ride mechanics kick in; at the drop.”

Despite Martel’s brilliant and well-thought-out idea, it appears as though the Home on the Range makeover is moving forward. Fans of the site have been reporting seeing construction walls spotted outside the Tower of Terror attraction as recently as yesterday.

Although there is no specific timetable on when the new ride will be unveiled, Geronimo hinted that the ride will open alongside the release of the Home on the Range sequel, tentatively titled “Satanic Curses”, which is scheduled to be released just in time for the holidays in 2018.

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