New SWAT Team Attraction in the Works

article - swat team ride

Rumors about an exciting new attraction at Disney World have been circulating online in the previous days. The new ride is set to simulate the experience of being on a real life SWAT Team. Our sources tell us that this attraction will debut in Fantasyland at Disney World’s Magic Kingdom.

“We are very excited about this project,” said one of our main sources who has direct knowledge of the project. He (OR SHE!!!1) spoke to us on the condition of anonymity. “The general public has always wondered what it will be like to be on their local SWAT team and now they’ll get to experience that in the most authentic way we can make it.”

Concept art for the attraction was leaked to us under the condition that we view it and no one else gets to see it, no matter what. (We were even forced to pinky swear.) In the artists’ renderings it appears as though guests will be given guns and enter a suspected drug house. Guests will have to first devise a plan to breach the house and take the drug kingpins down by any means necessary.

When asked if this attraction will feature live action individuals, our source responded with “yes, almost exclusively.” She (OR HE!!!!1) did go on to mention that Audio Animatronics will be used in the form of a talking mailbox outside the house, which will be there for the sole purpose of briefing the team.

We reached out to the Walt Disney Company for comment on this rumor and they responded by saying, “Many ideas come across our desks that never see the light of day, but if this one were to happen, it would be totally baller. Wink!”

Our research team of former Disney Imagineer applicants and Facebook friends of current Imagineers stayed up late hours on Wednesday last week trying to speculate on more of the details of this attraction.

“Disney will most likely use real humans to act as the villains inside the drug house,” Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, a former Disney Imagineer applicant told us. “The park guests will have live ammunition and the Cast Members would use blanks, in the name of guest safety, of course.”

Geronimo speculated that the Cast Members would be comprised of prison inmates on death row, because “well, they’re gonna die anyway.”

We will have more details as they surface. It seems Fantasyland would be a perfect place to house this new attraction. What do you think?

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