Joe Rohde Earring Watch: UPDATE

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We’ve been keeping a close eye on Imagineer Joe Rohde’s earring over the years and have some exciting news to report. It appears as though his earring has now sagged down to the point just above his name tag.

Joe Rohde is Executive Designer and Vice President of Walt Disney Imagineering’s Creative division. Rohde has been with Walt Disney Imagineering since 1980 and has been the creative force behind such projects as Expedition Everest at Disney’s Animal Kingdom and Disney’s first Vacation Club property in O’ahu, Hawaii. His trademark earring is a representation of decades-worth of travel across the planet. With each new destination he travels, the weight of the trinkets in his earring causes his earlobe to sag ever-so-slightly.

Typhoid Lagoon has been the only non-porno website charting the progress of his earlobe sag for over a decade.

“We’ve been charting the dip of his earlobe for a very long time,” Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, Typhoid Lagoon’s Lead Lobulus Auriculae Expert tells us. “Our team has studied literally DOZENS of photographs over the last 10 years and have gone into painstaking detail charting the progress of Rohde’s earlobe sag. Today is an exciting day for us all.”

The implications for such a milestone needn’t be stated but in case you’re a complete moron, we’ll tell you what this means. For help with this, we spoke to Kristine Halford, Vice President of Disney’s Ride and Attraction Feasibility Division.

“Our long term goals with Walt Disney World involve placing an attraction through – or possibly inside – the hole left by Joe Rohde’s earring,” Halford said. “Initially we’ll probably just place a monorail through the hole but eventually resorts and a new water park will fill the void left behind by his earring.”

Although the thought of rides and attractions inside someone’s earlobe hole is extremely exciting, Halford stressed that people will need to exercise some patience before anything comes to fruition.

“I want to be sleeping inside [Rohde’s] earlobe hole as much as the next gal but this likely won’t become a reality until 20-30 years from now,” Halford concluded. “But it’s never too late to get your children excited about the possibilities.”

We reached out to Mr. Rohde for comment but a man representing him told us that he was too weak from the latest earlobe sag to speak but hopes to be well enough to return to work on Monday, because it’s “Bob’s birthday, and I wouldn’t miss that for the world.”

Keep your eyes locked on for further updates.

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