Fan Site Dares to Rate Restaurants on Scale of 7

article - seven stars

A local Disney World fan site uses a seven-point scale to rate restaurants. It’s a bold and daring move that has revolutionized how restaurants are rated and has put other Disney rating sites on notice.

This radical idea was generated by Thomas Corkless, curator for a Walt Disney World fan site.

“We needed a way to show the readers of our site which restaurants we felt people should be eating at,” Corkless tells us. “We couldn’t do a four-star scale because the movies have that trademarked. A five-star scale was also ruled out because our legal team discovered that Amazon has the rights to that. So naturally, we went with a seven-point scale.”

When asked why they didn’t just go with a six point scale if four and five were taken, Corkless responded with, “…but ours is seven.”

“We were toying with the idea of a 10-point scale, but we felt many Disney fans had trouble counting that high,” Corkless concluded.

It may come as a surprise that there is some truth to that statement. Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III, head of Typhoid Lagoon’s Research and Development team, verified those claims.

“It’s true,” Geronimo tells us in an early morning Skype interview from the 23rd floor of his Las Vegas Penthouse Suite. “Scientifically, a rating system based on four or five stars has the best chance of resonating with the general public. Go beyond that, and people start getting confused because the numbers start getting so big.”

This stunning move to a seven-point scale has put their site ahead and left other Disney World fan sites frantically trying to catch up.

“It was devastating,” former owner of WDWfanzz.com writes. “The second they debuted a seven-point scale for rating restaurants I knew we were in trouble. We closed down within the month. How do you compete with that? It’s genius… pure genius.”

Other Disney World fan sites aren’t as quick to implement a seven-point scale for rating restaurants. We spoke to another major player in the world of Disney World fan sites, who wished to remain anonymous.

“Seven points, really?” Chainsaw, typhoidlagoon.com contributor and author of this article wrote us. “What does that even mean? If a restaurant gets 4 out of 7, what does that mean? Is that good? I can’t tell. I would think a 2 out of 7 would be bad but I don’t know. Maybe that’s good? What’s  a 1 out of 7? Olivia’s at Old Key West? Grand Floridian Café? I think it’s incredibly idiotic.”

The seven-point rating system doesn’t seem to be confusing many people so it will in all likelihood continue to be the benchmark for which restaurants are rated. To date, the system has not been patented, making this idea a fantastic investment opportunity for those wishing to get rich quick.

[UPDATE #1: A patent for the seven-point rating scale is now pending.]

[UPDATE #2: A previous version of this article quoted Chainsaw as saying the idea was just “idiotic” but an attorney for Mr. Chainsaw informed us that he actually said “incredibly idiotic.” We apologize for the error.]

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