Grand Floridian Reverting to Dial-Up Internet

Dial-Up Internet Returning to Grand Floridian

“High Speed Internet Does Not Match Theme”

Officials at the Grand Floridian Resort and Spa announced today that they will soon be phasing out high speed internet in their guest rooms. They will instead revert back to dial-up speeds to keep with the turn-of-the-century theme of the resort.

“Yeah, we looked into … Continue reading this fake story…

Heavily Censored Version of Christopher Robin Coming Soon

Censored Version of Christopher Robin Film Coming Soon

Censored Version Will Have Character Named Winnie The P***

Backlash from the new Christopher Robin movie has forced Disney to re-release a censored version of the film. Parents had been giving the film poor reviews online. The most common complaint was for the excessive use of expletives such as the word poo. A character in … Continue reading this fake story…

Unlock Your Resort Room With Dole Whip

Guests Can Unlock Their Resort Room With A Dole Whip

Disney Set To Dole Whip Your Ass:

This week Disney announced that all Walt Disney World Resort guests will be able to unlock their room with a Dole Whip by the end of this year. Previously guests could use their MagicBand or something called a “key” to gain access to … Continue reading this fake story…

Bootleg Plastic Straws Becoming A Problem

Bootleg Plastic Disney Straws Selling Illegally Off Property

Discount Plastic Straws Being Sold Off-Property:

This week Disney announced they will eliminate the use of single-use plastic straws from their parks by mid-2019. Many applauded the move saying that it shows that Disney is doing its best to lead the way in conservation efforts. Critics of the move say it’s insensitive to those needing … Continue reading this fake story…

Liberty Belle River Boat Installing “Insane” Mode

Magic Kingdom Adding INSANE Mode to Liberty Belle River Boat

Insane Mode Makes Ride Liberty Square’s First E-Ticket Attraction —

One of the most common complaints from guests who board the Liberty Belle Riverboat at the Magic Kingdom is that it is much too slow. Disney Imagineers will soon install an “Insane” mode to increase the paddle boat’s top speed. Right now … Continue reading this fake story…